This time last year, I made a handful of predictions for the year ahead.
“How hard can it be?” I giggled to myself. “How much can really happen in 12 months?”
Well, HOLY SH*T. I did NOT see that coming.
I feel that in penning predictions on the Internet, I tempted fate. I upset the gods. I disrupted the natural order of things and now we have the goddamn host of The Apprentice as the President and I am really so very sorry about that.
There were, however, a number of things I did get right. Call me Nostradamus. Or that Bulgarian clairvoyant Baba Vanga who scares the crap out of me.
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Well here are my 2017 prediction for QandA: their usual schedule of one show per week will continue but it will be the same three subjects in rotation, week 1 - same sex marriage/transgenderism, week 2 - refugees/islamaphobia, week 3 - climate change. However to prove that they are committed to "diversity" one episode in the year will be about a transgender aboriginal who is being denied the right to same sex marry an Islamic refugee. The twitter feed will become much larger and will show multiple tweets at once which will run horizontally, vertically and diagonally across the screen partially obscuring the faces of the "contestants". Despite the multiple tweets still none of them will say anything intelligent.
In an effort to stop Tony Jones interrupting the ABC will electrify his seat so that he will be given an electric shock if he interrupts a left wing "contestant" before 5 minutes have elapsed, and he will also receive an electric shock if he doesn't interrupt a right wing "contestant" before 5 minutes are up. He will also receive an electric shock if he doesn't ask at least three hijabbed women/Muslim looking person in the audience a question, unless of course there is a transgender person present then two Muslims plus one transgender person will suffice.
My personal dream is that the head of the Australian Christian Lobby rocks up with green hair, and that a same sex greenie advocate wears a suit and tie.
My other hoped for prediction is that Pauline Hanson and Sarah Hanson Young will warmly embrace when they realise they are actually related. Or perhaps they can fall in love both agreeing (for the first time ever agreeing on something) that there is no need for a same sex marriage as they share the same name anyway.
My other personal dream is that their families got mixed up with their similar and that all of Pauline Hanson's family voted for the Greens, and that all of Hanson Young's family voted for One Nation.
Bwahahahahaaaa!!!
Ummm ok?!
I lost it at the diagonal twitter feeds, I'm sure it will happen one day. Nice one :o)