It's time to Free The Cellulite

Image: Wiki images.

Just when you ran out of ways to hate your body, along comes pre-cellulite.

Apparently, it’s regular cellulite hiding under the surface of your skin just waiting to torture you.

You can thank Maria Menounos (and now me) for bringing it to your attention. In an interview with Health magazine the 36-year-old TV presenter casually dropped the concept of pre-cellulite as if it was a real thing.

“If I were to take my jeans off right now, you would see pre-cellulite. It doesn’t look that good, but I’m OK with that. We’re all human. If I want to get rid of it, I know what I have to do.”

Is it just me who thinks her line “I know what I have to do” sounds rather sinister? What do you have to do? Plastic surgery? Extreme dieting? Cut your legs off?

Someone who gives more f—s than me about pre-cellulite asked a doctor if this is something we should be worrying about. Clue: IT’S NOT.

The US Dermal Institute helpfully described the inception that is cellulite production. Apparently there are four stages we can freak out about. In stage one, fat cells swell to two or three times their size. In stage two, the fat cells clump together and dimples become visible. At stage three, the cellulite becomes more pronounced. And in stage four the cells have finished their transformation and shown up on your thighs, butt, upper arms and stomach. Hooray!

If I completely lost you there, in short, pre-cellulite refers to skin that DOES NOT HAVE CELLULITE and is dimple-free. I mean, come on.

Can we all stop stressing about cellulite now? We all have it, let’s stop pretending it’s a dirty, shameful secret that needs to be shielded from public eyes.

It’s one of the reasons women feel like they don’t have the bikini body needed to step onto the sand wearing something other than a kaftan or boardshorts or a full-body rashie. It stops many us from wearing shorts in summer or dresses that aren’t maxis.

But here’s what you should know. Most women get cellulite after puberty. It’s so prevalent that some doctors consider it a secondary sex characteristic. Meaning that as sure as those pre-teen buds will turn into boobs (big or small) you will get cellulite. That’s not to depress you. It’s just a fact.

Caitlin Stasey and Rumer Willis recently started the ‘Free the Nipple’ campaign on social media, but I’d agree that we equally need to ‘Free the cellulite’.

H/t The Gloss.