Oh, we’ve all been there.
It’s mid-week, it’s been a crap day at work, you’ve tossed off the gym to come home and watch Netflix, you’re feeling grumpy…and then your partner gets home. Unless he’s bearing a double-cheese pizza and bottle of red wine, then you simply cannot deal with him tonight.
Negotiating that precious time from stepping off the train and into your slippers all comes down to technique.
Do it right, and you have a lovely evening of rest and relaxation before hitting the hay. Do it wrong? And you’ve got hours and hours of slammed dishwasher drawers and black stares to deal with.
Fear not: The Harvard Business Review has heard your bad-day prayers, and has penned an article about how to avoid arguing with your spouse when they get home from work.
(NOTE: These rules also apply to flatmates, parents, siblings, boyfriends, girlfriends, next door neighbors, and kindly visitors who dare cross your threshold.)
Tip #1: You need quiet time, and they just really want a chat.
Lots of things can happen in one day. Your day can be a winner, with great meetings, a happy boss, and a quiet train carriage. Or it can be a solid loser, with half a latte down your top and a German backpacker with an acoustic guitar on your bus.
Either way, your needs upon arriving home will be different every day. And so will your partner’s: so appreciate the difference in your moods. It’s OK to be in a bad mood after a long day – but remember, there’s nothing a warm bath and glass of wine can’t soothe.
Tip #2: A good day, doesn't always equal a good mood.
Some days, we just bounce back faster than others, you know? You might have had a shockingly bad meeting with your client, followed by a useless session at the gym, but overall - you're doing OK. Life's pretty good. But then on other days, it's impossible to shake that bad mood.
According the Harvard Business Review, "In practice, this means that someone who had an objectively horrible day at work may be in a good mood by the time they step out of the office, yet someone who encountered fewer challenges may still feel their impact well into the evening."
Tip #3: You come from different backgrounds. Appreciate that.
Do you remember the first time you met your boyfriend's parents? Perhaps had dinner at their home? I'll bet you noticed a few quirks about their routine. As strange as it may seem as an adult, we carry forward our habits installed in us from a young age - and they are wildly different from home to home.