My second marriage wasn’t what anyone would call traditional. There was never a time, throughout our entire relationship, where one or both of us weren’t also involved with other people. This may sound like a recipe for disaster, and it would be, except we were polyamorous.
When we first met, my soon-to-be husband made it abundantly clear he was seeing two other women already and had no intention of stopping. I’ll admit, I was taken aback, but intrigued. I appreciated his blunt honesty about his relationship status and wondered, where would that leave me?
He was looking for someone who was interested in attending swinger’s parties with him, as neither of his lady friends were interested in those events. They knew he was seeing other people, they were as well, but they didn’t desire to do it in a group setting.
Watch polyamorous couple, Wye and Dave, discuss what polyamory is and why it works for them. Post continues below.
The idea fascinated me.
I’ve always been bisexual and found it difficult to be in a monogamous relationship without dampening my desire to be with a woman. My first marriage didn’t allow me to explore my bisexual side alone – my husband wanted to be involved or it wasn’t happening.
The type of relationship this man was proposing would allow me to freely be myself and explore my sexuality without fear of repercussion.
We dated for a year and married, agreeing to be in an open relationship with few limitations.
Communication is the cornerstone for any open relationship, even more so than in a traditional monogamous one. Both parties must be on board for it to work and it will not save your relationship or marriage. It’s a partnership in the truest sense of the word. You have to work together in order for it to flourish and grow.
We identified as swingers more so than a polyamorous household for the first part of our marriage, although we did have a live-in girlfriend for part of that time. However, my husband accepted a job which required him to work out of town for the majority of the time and that changed our dynamic drastically.
It was at this time we truly became a polyamorous household and began dating as such.