Pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) is something women are taught to dread.
You have cramps…
DON’T COME NEAR ME!
That’s how I used to feel about PMS. I used to feel like it was a hormonal imbalance that occurred every month in the days leading up to my period and that I could expect to feel sad/mad/angry/frustrated for no reason. I was just crazy.
I was PMS-ing. I was out of control. Best to hide away for a few days so nobody is subjected to my displaced rage.
Now that I’m older, I think of PMS differently. Sure my husband and I argue more during this time but what I began to realise was that we weren’t arguing about things that didn’t matter. I wasn’t upset over nothing. I was just more upset over things that I could usually hide my true feelings about.
PMS stripped me of the ability to bullshit, to appease, to coddle, to protect, to keep the peace regardless of how I was feeling inside.
During PMS I become incapable of hiding how I truly feel about things. I am forced to stop and consider what is working in my life and isn't working. I am compelled to speak up about those things that bug me and upset me and make my life harder.
In this regard, PMS is a blessing, a unique opportunity to tweak my life and the people in it, in a way that makes me happier and more fulfilled.
My husband gets it now. He no longer dismisses the subjects I bring up during "that time of the month". Instead he now sees it as a unique opportunity to find out how I really feel about things. He now knows that usually I try and be the family peace-keeper, the one who does whatever it takes to keep everyone else happy, leaving myself at the end of a very long list.