This is possibly the most embarrassing thing we – as a nation – have ever achieved.
You see, last week Channel Ten aired a bunch of pilot shows for its brand new spankin’ pilot week.
Among the shows were some really smart, creative concepts. Shows that deep-dived and took an original stance on the kind of issues every day Australians face.
There was Disgrace, a panel show hosted by Sam Dastyari which aimed to explore the culture of online outrage.
There was a sketch comedy show called Skit Happens. And a variety program hosted by Rove McManus called Saturday Night.
There was Taboo, Harley Breen’s docu-series which explored what it’s really like to live with a disability.
Then there was Trial By Kyle.
Trial By Kyle is kind of like Judge Judy meets trashy reality TV meets everything that’s wrong with Instagram… and also mullets.
In this 40 minute pilot, Kyle Sandilands preceded over real cases brought to him by the likes of Married At First Sight’s Nasser Sultan.
Two guys with mullets argued about something and a dog was brought in to choose between its mum and its grandmother.
At one stage Shannon Noll was brought before the court as an expert witness on the "bro code" ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
It was the most wonderfully trashy thing to grace Australian TV screens since the short-lived reality series The Shire.
Anywho, of all the shows in pilot week this was the one that garnered the biggest ratings.
Yep, we loved Trial By Kyle.
Here's a full breakdown of the ratings:
#1 Trial By Kyle (Thursday), national audience: 519,000 people
#2 Drunk History (Monday), national audience 512,000 people
#3 Kinne Tonight (Wednesday), national audience: 496,000 people
#4 Skit Happens (Sunday), national audience: 478,000 people
#5 Taboo (Tuesday), national audience: 391,000 people
#6 Dave (Friday), national audience: 337,000 people
#7 Disgrace (Sunday), national audience: 301,000 people
#8 Saturday Night (Saturday), national audience: 297,000 people
Given the results, it seems Trial By Kyle might actually become a thing that we watch while eating our homemade tacos and scrolling through our Instagram feeds.
I feel dirty and excited but also a little ashamed. But also excited.
Here's hoping Nasser has cleared his schedule so he can make a weekly appearance.