I'm sitting in a park in Sydney when I see a billboard for Piers Morgan's new show, Uncensored.
Goodness, I think to myself. That's an awfully large advertisement for a man who believes he's being gagged. How exciting that someone who has been so censored, whose voice has been so repressed, now has a platform.
When I saw that Donald Trump was Morgan's first guest - another quiet man who has historically been voiceless, most notably when he was president of the most powerful nation on the planet - I knew, shamefully, that I was going to have to watch. And recap it. Like an episode of bad reality TV where grown adults yell at each other and storm out, and it's embarrassing for everyone.
Piers Morgan begins Uncensored by comparing himself to Nelson Mandela and Sir your free speech is not equivalent to Nelson Mandela’s free speech. First, Mandela went to prison, rather than voluntarily walking off his own TV show. Second, Mandela used his words to advocate against apartheid and dismantle racism, whereas you use your free speech to bitch about Prince Harry.
Bizarrely, Morgan throws to a cameo from Ricky Gervais who says he was asked to be a guest on the show and said definitely not. Then producers asked him if he wanted to send Morgan a good luck message, and he asked, 'do I have to mean it?' and they said no. So he says good luck.