Diets are dead. Now, it’s all about the lifestyle change.
I have officially turned into my mother. Because every Monday morning I start a new ‘diet’.
It’s depressing that it’s come to this, because I, like every savvy woman in the known universe is aware that diets are bullshit, created to sucker us into a cycle of loss and gain that leads only to a puddle of tears next to those newly-purchased bathroom scales.
Diets are not cool, people. It’s all about lifestyle change.
But after another weekend slides by in a blur of party pies at kids’ parties, “treat” breakfasts and too much “just the one” wine swilling, I usually end up in a murky fug of self-loathing on my lounge on Sunday night, vowing to turn it all around on Monday morning.
Sisterhood, I’m sorry.
Which is why it was especially helpful when, last night, Pete Evans appeared on my TV screen to teach me about paleo.
Pete is no fool. He knew that if he caught me at a low moment, and used the conduit of Mike Willesee – trusted veteran TV journalist TM – to teach me the joys of caveman food, I would be lulled into a sense that my paleo future was a sensible and measured lifestyle choice, not only the preserve of gorgeous wellness bloggers with blinding teeth and mandolin abs, but something that can be adopted by real people, middle-aged people, you know, people with DAY JOBS.
Watch part of Pete’s controversial Sunday Night interview here. Post continues below.
It almost worked. Because Mr Willesee looked great after ten weeks on Pete’s paleo bandwagon. He rode it convincingly all the way to 5kg weight-loss, reduced cholesterol and Homocysteine indicators, and managed to happily avoid all the usual side effects, including orange skin and a pious tone. I was sold.
Mr Willesee also managed to keep quite the straight face when Pete told him that of course that pesky dietitian association didn’t agree with what he did, because they are sponsored by food companies, and compromised by the evil dollar. Pete and his mates, on the other hand, are only compromised by a desire to build an empire and become insanely rich by charging people to be educated in the evils of oats.
Totally different thing.