Do you recognise any first-borns that you know in this list?
My seven-year old puts the dog on the lead when he wants to go to our garage to fetch something.
Sure he loves the dog. Who wouldn’t? He is a 12-year old apricot spoodle with eyes of liquid chocolate. But it is more than that. He needs the dog with him when he goes to the garage. The dog goes to the letter-box at times too, and upstairs to help find his pyjamas.
There are times the dog sits by the toilet waiting like a good 12-year old doggy does.
The thing is, at the age of seven, my son just doesn’t like to be alone.
He is forever running up the street looking for a friend to play with. He is the one who never wants to leave the party. He is the one who asks his baby sister to wait outside the door while he goes to the toilet so he has someone to “talk to”. The dog hasn’t quite learnt to answer back.
Related: The weird, the gross and the clever: 10 new parenting trends of 2015.
But I know now that he is a just a first-born and he is displaying all the classic signs of first-born syndrome.
When he was little, if he cried – I picked him up. If he wanted to play – I was there.
Baby Einstein. Baby yoga. Baby music classes. We were there. We were entertained. We were stimulated. We were engaged.
He had play mats with jingly bits and squishy cows that he would press his little button nose up against and they would moo.
He had rockers that spoke to him in two languages. He was a first-born.
So can you blame him, this not wanting to be alone business?
The fact is that first-borns have always been indulged a little bit.
Related content: Here’s how your birth order affects personality.
As a second child myself I witnessed this first hand. Real proper scientific studies exist to show that parents take a zillion billion photos of their first-borns, as opposed to three-and half of the subsequent kids.
Top Comments
My 1st born does display a few of these traits. He actually doesn't mind playing alone and doesn't so much seek approval. However, he is fearful in new situations, likes things done his way and doesn't like being wrong. I have never attributed it to him being a first-born but it makes sense I guess?
You know what - I am a first born and i see a lot of these behaviours in myself (from the past) and in my eldest. I always had trouble going anywhere by myself. My mother used to always complain why I always needed someone to come shopping with me etc (when i was a teenager) and I always had to have someone playing with me (when I was younger). I have since overcome these issues and love going shopping by myself. It is a welcome reprieve :). My husband and I were discussing these exact same traits in our eldest the other night and it had us baffled. But I now see the behaviour I was displaying when i was younger is happening to my eldest. I think it just takes courage to put yourself outside your comfort zone. My eldest is only 4 though so I think I will give her a break until she is a bit older :)