baby

I can understand why people got mad at Chrissy Teigen for going out and leaving her baby.

Nine days ago Chrissy Teigen and John Legend became new parents. Their daughter, Luna Simone Stephens was introduced to the world on Instagram.

She was dark haired and gorgeous, a tiny, wonderful piece of news in amongst the doom and gloom we face in the world.

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A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 20, 2016 at 2:13pm PDT

In the days since she’s been born we’ve been treated to images of her doting mother with her – and treated to snippets about her life shared by her loving dad.

It’s a privilege to be allowed a glimpse into the life of this open, friendly couple.  

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But on Saturday night – with baby Luna only days old, Chrissy and her husband John went out to dinner.

Wearing a long brown leather coat, a sheer top and skin tight leather pants Chrissy Teigan, a first time mum, was photographed at a hot Hollywood restaurant, glossy and shiny and holding a clutch that could hardly fit a credit card and a lippy let alone a few nappies and a bag of wipes.

There was no sign of baby Luna anywhere.

As people tend to do these days – some well meaning and some just plain bitchy – fans and trolls took to social media to call out her parenting skills.

Teigen faced the criticism head on writing on Twitter “I went to dinner. People are pissed. Good morning!” and highlighting how “passive aggressive” many of the comments were.

In a scathing display of cattiness, that can only be achieved in under 140 characters, one person wrote “How’s baby Luna?” Teigan’s usual display of give-no-fucks came shining through with her response ‘i dunno i can’t find her.’

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Another commenter may as well have said “how dare you be looking all gorgeous and glamorous and dining on fine food when your baby is probably screaming for a feed” – but actually asked Teigen what she ate.

Teigen’s response: “Seared scallops with leaks and potato puree. delicious!,’ before adding: ‘leeks* – i will never forgive my autocorrect for that one”

It was a typical example of Teigen confronting her trolls head on, pushing back against the judgment, pushing back against the criticism and damnation of her as a mother and it has been championed through social media as a way to distill the mummy judgement.

Usually I’d probably champion it too, except, in this case I can see where these trolls are coming from.

I can see why they express dismay and incredulity that a mother so fresh into this gig would leave her baby to go out to a restaurant.

I can see why they reacted the way they did. I can totally understand why women are aghast Chrissy Teigen dared to leave her baby.

They are jealous.

I can totally understand why women are aghast Chrissy Teigen dared to leave her baby. Via Getty.

Do you remember what it was like for you one week after having your first baby?

Was it sheer tops and five star restaurants or was it like it was for me?

Raw inside and out. I was broken and fulfilled all at the same but fulfilled with a way of life totally alien to me. I was bleeding and weeping and my flesh was still oozing over the waistband of my maternity pants. I was leaking from places I didn’t know I would leak from and I was flattened by the enormity of what had happened to me.

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If I was back there now and Chrissy Teigen was beaming at me from Facebook gorgeous and sassy so obviously in love with her new life I’d be wondering. Why don’t I feel like that?

I don’t agree with what these women (and they are mainly women) said to Chrissy Teigen – every mum deserves, and needs “me” time, but I can see why they say the things they do.

I remember hearing about women heading out for dinner from the maternity ward – let alone after they’d gone home  - and being in awe of them.

She got out of her dressing gown and feeding singlet and put on shoes?

While many couples are like Teigen and Legend there are other couples not quite there. Others still struggling to step into their new identities as "mum and dad", not just "husband and wife".

I remember a friend in my mother’s group telling me at our first meeting when our babies were just four weeks old “I feel like my life, my identify has changed completely and my husband’s hasn’t. He still goes to work, goes to the gym has his things. And I just have the baby.”

Of course it wasn’t true and years later she probably can’t even remember feeling that way but it stuck with me because for so many of us having a baby shocks you to the core.

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Perhaps underneath the shiny makeup and glossy hair Chrissy Teigen is struggling with this too.

We don’t know and while we shouldn’t judge (and, seriously, at the very least we should be polite to each other) perhaps the people who question Teigen are simply wondering if they have done it the wrong way.

Perhaps the images of Teigen made them think "could it have been easier for me?"

Why did I feel so overwhelmed?  She doesn't look overwhelmed. She has it together.

A photo posted by chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) on Apr 22, 2016 at 12:17pm PDT

They are judging Chrissie Teigen out of human nature – brutal, nasty human nature sure – but human nature – jealousy, curiosity, fears that we did something wrong, that maybe if we’d tried harder when we first had our babies we could have been going out to fancy restaurants in strappy heels instead of weeping into the pillow and resisting the urge to bite our husband’s head off when he asked what we wanted for dinner.

We judge other women because we are conflicted about ourselves. We judge them because we want our way to have been the okay way to do things.

I don’t condone the judgment of Chrissy Teigen but I can sure see where it stems from.

Tags: body-image , celebrity , motherhood , pregnancy
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