It has been brought to my attention that there is a lipstick in the shape of a penis, and I simply must talk about it. Immediately.

There is.There really is. Have you seen it?

Isn't it... cute?

A penis! For your lips.

The brand behind this fancy new schlong? https://isamaya.com/products/vanity Isamaya Beauty, founded by British makeup artist Isamaya Ffrench.

In case you haven't heard of Ffrench, the 33-year-old has built a hefty resume over the years, and is just a very huge deal in the fashion and beauty world.

She's worked with famous faces such as Rihanna, Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Cher and the likes. She's also been involved with titles such asVogue,I-D,DazedandW Magazine.

But, back to the shiny scrotum.

The penis-shaped lipstick, complete with testicles, costs $95 USD - which is around $140.

A very expensive peen, indeed.

There are two shades: 'Cardinal' (a red, satin lipstick shade) and 'Vanity' (a shimmery black balm) and you can buy them directly from the website.

And yes, these are some popular little tubes.

The brand completely sold out of them in February, after the first drop.

But I have some urgent questions about the metal willies. Where do I start?

1. Why are they called LIPS?

I just.... don't get it.

There were SO many other options here. So very many possibilities. Why did we land on LIPS? Who landed on LIPS?

SHOW ME WHO.

What about D**klips? Lipsd**k?? Or D**kstick??

C'mon.Even Big Lip Energy feels better than LIPS.

Allmissed opportunities.

Isamaya, if you're reading this - fire your marketing manager.

2. How does it look in your pocket?

But really.

This is funny mostly because I want to know how many people will ask:Is that lipstick in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?

Haha(sorry)ha.

3. Was it based on a real-life cast mould?

This feels important.

Was the lipsd**k based on a shrunken replica of someone's real-life johnson? Or is it just a generic d**k and balls?

For reasons I can't articulate (what am I, a writer or something?), it's something I really care about.

And because this is a one-way thing where I ask the questions and you don't... answer.. me.. (rude), for journalistic purposes, I started researching. And lo-and-behold, I found out that... no. The lipstick wasn't based on a real-life d**k.

Because not everyone is a Kardashian, okay? (Jokes, Ki