rogue

'Underwear or torture device?' You decide.

I think there’s a lot to be said for pearls on a woman. Paired with a gown or even a silk blouse, they add an elegant touch to any neck.

But as users on a discussion board on mumsnet discovered, the neck is not where some marketers would like women to wear their pearls.

In a thread titled: ‘Underwear or torture device?’ One user posted a screenshot of the products that were popping up in their online ads. 

Source: Screenshot/Mumsnet.

The question posed by LemonRedwood may have some validity considering the size of the comment section that quickly grew below it.

The Explainer: 

User gindrinker43 said:

"You would have some explaining to do if the elastic broke in public."

Barry's Girl:

User Ilostitintheearlynineties said:
"Their fanny's have been airbrushed or photoshopped to look like Barbie's undercarriage.

"I can imagine a middle aged wife in a suburban street somewhere buying those to 'spice things up' in the bedroom."

"Barry, I've got a treat for you tonight..Ta da." Whips off nylon robe."

Source: The Bracli Boutique/Mumsnet Forums.
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Drafty dame:

User ouryve said:

"Just what is the point of those? They'd be right draughty."

Cheesewire Chafing: 

User draenorqueen said:

"Oh GOD! Are any other "larger ladies" imagining this bad boy rolling down to the point where it's in a screwed up bundle round the bottom of your bum, cheesewire gusset still lodged in place?! They're AWFUL!"

Furry Fun:

User girlandboy said:

"You may as well not wear anything. Rather go nekkid than have to keep plucking that string thing all day. And unless you've had a pretty extensive waxing session, I can only imagine it could look a bit furry?"

"Or am I showing my age?"

Source: Bracli Boutique/Facebook.

Utilitarian User

User glacindathetroll said:

“I'm really hoping this is bedroom wear, where keeping on something draughtily revealing might have quite a useful purpose.”

“Not for going out for a bicycle ride (I hope).”

Lusty Lass

User sixinabed said:

“Clearly designed by a man who imagines that anything rubbing against your bits will whip you into a lusty frenzy.”

“They look painful as well as unattractive to me”

The product may not be to everyone's taste but I'll stand by my original statement that pearls - wherever they're worn - are still the mark of good taste.

Not that we're saying it'll happen but let's revisit some of our most embarrassing dates.

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