politics

She climbed 40m then had to... slide down: Mamamia recaps Pauline Hanson's trip to Uluru.

Goodness.

Pauline Hanson has a very complicated relationship with Twitter.

Earlier this month she asked Twitter users to share examples of ‘anti-white racism’ and got mercilessly mocked, but her complete failure to use the social media platform got even worse last week when she was temporarily unable to upload further videos calling for protesters to be dispersed with electric cattle prods.

It’s was real shame, and a rough end to a spectacularly bad week for everyone’s favourite* former fish and chip shop owner.

Pauline, pls, you can’t just suggest we electrocute legal protesters. Post continues below video.

Video by Pauline Hanson

But never fear, because Hanson is back on the social media platform just in time to share more about her visit to Uluru last week.

Last Tuesday afternoon, Hanson touched down in Uluru at the invitation of The Anangu Mayatja Council of Elders, who were interested in discussing her past calls for the climbing of Uluru to remain open.

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In 2017, the Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park Board voted to close the climb. It was a decision widely welcomed by Indigenous leaders who said it recognised the cultural significance of the site, but Hanson reckoned it’d be like closing Bondi Beach which is neither factually or metaphorically correct.

On arrival at the landmark, Hanson marvelled at its size. She was excited, because climbing it would be a great way to test out her fitness, offend some people and make headlines all at the same time. Jackpot.

pauline hanson uluru
Are you sure? Like, really sure? Image: Twitter.

The following morning, Hanson awoke ready to take on the world. Or at least, ready to take on the 348 metre rock with major cultural significance to the traditional land owners, who have explicitly told people not to climb it.

High winds in the area almost prevented her climb, but if there's one thing Hanson is good at it's not knowing when to just damn well call it a day.

So, off she set.

After reportedly taking 10 minutes to reach 40 metres, Hanson realised something.

Maybe we shouldn't be climbing Uluru.

Shock. Horror.

Hanson's fitness level was not enough to get her to the top, and after her life flashed before her eyes Hanson successfully slid on her backside back down.

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pauline hanson uluru
pauline hanson uluru
HELP

She had finally realised how important Uluru is to the Anangu people and wanted to show them respect. It was simply much too dangerous to go any further, she said.

Looking up at the 40m she had climbed, and then pretended was a slide, she lamented the task.

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"It's quite scary, I was surprised, I’d never been out there before," she told the ABC after her failed excursion.

"I respect the decision that there is not enough safety with regards to the rock. I respect the decision that their people, their kids, are not getting jobs. They’re bringing in Aboriginals from outside to fill the positions that should belong to their own people."

Hanson said she would like to see the climb remain open and would work with traditional land owners to look at how safety could be improved.

Speaking of traditional land owners, she figured maybe she should talk to some. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

As shown on A Current Affair, Hanson met with members of the Anangu Mayatja Council of Elders, who gave her permission to climb Uluru.

But when conducting a series of vox pops with locals, things didn't go quite her way.

While discussing climbing Uluru with local young women who told her it was disrespectful, Hanson made the argument that she too was Indigenous.

It was... very offensive.

"Where's my land, if it's not Australia?" she asked, confidently.

"Umm... England," responded one of the girls in possibly the best comedic delivery we've ever seen.

When asked why she wasn't taking on board the opinions of these Indigenous girls, Hanson said she was listening to "traditional owners" and not 19 and 20 year olds.

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With a big tick on her bucket list (40m counts, she reckons), Hanson was pleased as she left the Territory.

But... that happiness didn't last long.

Still riding the endorphin wave after her big hike, Hanson thought it'd be a great time to check the reaction to a very passionate video of herself brandishing a cattle prod she'd posted on social media a few days earlier.

pauline hanson cattle prod
CLIMATE CHANGE PROTESTER?
pauline hanson cattle prod
SHOCK EM
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"PAULINE'S PLAN TO PUNISH PROTESTER PESTS."

It was a little self indulgent, sure, but everyone loves alliteration and frankly, she thought she rocked an Akubra.

"When the farmers have trouble getting the cattle up off the floor of the trucks, or in the cattle yards, they just touch them with this and they soon move; it doesn't matter how big the beast are, they will move with this," she said in the video, waving an electric cattle prod.

"Recently we've had all the protesters in Brisbane... I reckon the solution, let's use one of these on them. They'll soon move."

After a nap (gruelling 40m treks will do that to you), Hanson opened her phone and checked her favourite app, Twitter.

...What? Where has the video of me looking dashing in my Akubra gone?

Uh oh.

"We have determined that this account violated Twitter Rules. Specifically for: Violating our rules against abuse and harassment," she read.

What a disaster! Who would've thought suggesting electrocuting legal protesters would be considered abusive?

Snowflakes! Leftie-nonsense! PC gone mad!

Hanson appealed the suspension, because without Twitter, how will she fail to drum up stories of anti-white racism to fit her agenda?

Cattle prods are low voltage and non-lethal, she said, so it's totally reasonable to suggest electrocuting protesters with them. For some reason, Twitter wasn't buying it.

"It's a bloody joke," she yelled, saying the video was "tongue-in-cheek" but not really.

Ugh, all that positive publicity from her very successful trip to Uluru down the drain.

Arriving back home on Friday, Hanson slumped into her couch.

"TGIF," she thought. "Not even the endorphins from my tough walk up Uluru can make this okay."

She called up her local fish and chip shop to order dinner before sighing and opening up Facebook, like it's goddamn 2012.

After a weekend of MSN Messenger, Bebo and Myspace, Hanson was finally removed from "Twitter jail" on Monday morning - just in time to read the glowing reactions to the A Current Affair story about her Uluru trip. Thank God.

*Mamamia has been unable to verify this claim.

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