Here is Jenny’s tale of attending her partner’s vasectomy…
Dr Snip (not his real name) needs his own radio hour. He’s been a testicle technician for 28 years, meaning he’s free to make ribald jokes and chuckle away with shaking shoulders without having to worry too much about slip-ups, and he’s got us in stitches – unlike my boyfriend’s scrotum, which won’t need any stitches, because it’s benefiting from Dr Snip’s non-invasive procedure.
Are you at work right now? Then don’t click on these rather graphic pics unless there’s nobody about.
Not that Dr Snip will put your mind at rest. Every bit of his comedy double act with nurse Rachel is designed to convince the recipient his brains are about to haemorrhage through his nut-sack.
Dr Snip’s specialty is the scalpel-free procedure. Your balls are still pierced by a sharp object, but it’s a nice claim to make. He pulls out each vas – the tube that semen travels in – from an incision in the scrotum, cuts it and cauterises one end, all under local anaesthetic. “Is that the vas?” I ask, as he fishes out a loop of something white.
“Well if it’s his spine, we’re fucked.”
All too soon it’s over and we’re handed an after-care pack, including a Dr Snip stubby holder. That sort of service makes you want to come back time and time again.
THE SERIOUS STUFF: 6 Things you need to know.
1. A chap will not be sterile immediately after his vasectomy.
It takes a minimum of 12 ejaculations over eight to 12 weeks for the spoof stored in the seminal vesicle to make its final emergency evacuation.