At 1:41am this morning, a message from Sarah* appeared in our submissions inbox. It read…
I really need some advice from Mamamia readers. I also want to warn other women, and let them know that they are not alone if they have been lied, cheated on, or conned by an ex.
Because that’s exactly what has happened to me.
In the beginning when I met Tom* everything was amazing, and I believed him when he told me he was left sterile after a ‘horrific motorbike accident’ (he had a big scar on his testicles that made me believe this). We would have sex unprotected, because he told me we had no chance of falling pregnant. Considering we promised to be monogamous and were clean of sexually transmitted infections, I saw no issue with this.
But then I fell pregnant with our son. Not long after I realised I was in love with a narcissistic, lying piece of sh*t, who had basically “stealthed” me.
LISTEN: Does your relationship have rules to prevent cheating? (Post continues…)
When I told Tom we were pregnant, his responses ranged from ‘it’s a miracle’, to ‘you were cheating on me’, ‘it’s not mine’, ‘I’m so excited’, ‘I can’t be a father’, ‘you’ll be a great mum’ and finally, ‘we should get an abortion’.
I was 9.5 weeks along when I found out I wasn’t the only woman he was sleeping with.
I discovered the other women when my partner started acting really strange, and made a habit of giving me every stereotypical excuse under the sun (I’m working late; I’m staying at a friend’s house in the city to save on a taxi fare).
My suspicions grew too much, so I contacted a woman on Facebook who he was suspiciously friends with. That was when the can of worms was opened, and I found out there was a line of secret girlfriends alongside me.
And here’s the real clincher: one of the other women was also pregnant. He’d told her the exact same lies as me.