It’s so upsetting to discover that your child is being bullied. If only we could protect them from the cruelty some kids dish out. But what if the bullying isn’t coming from the kids, but from other children’s parents?
This disturbing new parenting trend has been labelled “social engineering” and writer Lisa Barr says it’s growing by the minute.
Barr explains that “social engineering” is when overly involved parents bully other people’s children, in order to progress or maintain their own child’s social status. If this weren’t disturbing enough, Barr says she’s come across hundreds of incidents of parents bullying kids and is so concerned she feels it may be contributing to teen suicide.
She started the blog GIRLilla warfare to discuss the issue and says we can't underestimate the damage being done by these mean mums.
"One of the main reasons I started this blog was because of the overabundance of Middle School war stories that I had been hearing from so many moms. Same story, different players. And I hate to say this, but the root of this particular social evil, is usually (sadly) initiated by a group of Moms. One of our GW writers pointed out in another blog, that those Moms decide who is IN and who is OUT. It is political, and it is what we at GIRLilla Warfare call “Suburban Social Engineering” which ends up causing many children deep, unnecessary pain," Barr wrote.
How unimaginably hurtful for our children to be excluded from social situations by parents hellbent on ensuring their own children's social status, regardless of the feelings of other vulnerable young people.
Barr recently spoke with ABC in the US to discuss the trend and what can be done about it. Post continues after this video...
In one example a mum boarded a camp bus and roped off a section for her child and her so-called "cool" friends. When a girl boarded and asked to join the group the mean mum told her no. Another incident occurred when a mum rang a camp director and asked that a particular child be moved out of her assigned cabin so her own daughter and her friends could have the place to themselves.