These expectant parents asked the internet to name their daughter and… the results aren’t quite as bad as you would expect.
Amelia Savannah Joy (that’s two middle names) was born on April 7, and ended up with a shockingly normal and lovely name on her birth certificate.
Despite its normality, Amelia’s name is causing controversy, as technically it only came in second place in the internet survey.
Given that the internet is a cesspit of ridiculousness, it probably won’t be too surprising when you learn that the first-place name was “Cthulhu All Spark.”
The Cthulhu is “a monster of vaguely anthropoid outline, but with an octopus-like head whose face was a mass of feelers, a scaly, rubbery-looking body, prodigious claws on hind and fore feet, and long, narrow wings behind” invented by science-fiction writer H. P. Lovecraft. Aaaand the middle name of “All Spark” is a reference to the Transformers franchise.
However, Canadian programmer and new dad Stephen McLaughlin planned for such an outcome when he registered the appropriately named NameMyDaughter.Com four months before the birth of his daughter.
On the website he explained, “Unfortunately internet I know better than to trust you. We will ultimately be making the final decision, alas my daughter shall not be named WackyTaco692. Sorry guys the wife wouldn’t go for a free for all.”
This was probably a sensible decision, as McLaughlin said he had to delete “several STIs and a couple of sexual positions” from the submissions list.
In an Ask Me Anything forum on the website Reddit, McLaughlin explained his decision-making process behind deciding the internet should be given the task of naming his offspring.
“I was sitting on the end of the bed after coming home from work and the idea hit me. I tend to be very forward person (this gets me in a lot of trouble lol) and I just blurted it out — ‘Hunny, I am going to ask the internet what we should name our daughter!’
She was supportive right from the start. I think at first she didn’t think I was actually going to do it. But once the domain was registered she knew it was real.
Hell when I saw that namemydaughter.com was available I just knew that was the sign that I HAD to do it.”
New mum Kathryn was a good sport about the whole thing and, according to Canada’s Global News, posted a picture of baby Amelia on Facebook after the birth, along with the caption: “All bow down to the great and powerful Cthulhu.”
Welcome into the world, Cthulhu.
So, do you think parents are crazy? Or brave? Or crazy brave?
And here are some other names they might have considered….