I woke up this morning and realised I was a BAD MUM.
Well let’s face it I knew I wasn’t exactly supermum already, one eye cast across the debris of toys, muesli bar wrappers and unfinished homework which lay strewn across the kitchen bench from the night before reminded me of that.
But it wasn’t until I rescued my iPad from under the remnants of an attempted cut-out paper doll chain now forever plastered together with squeezey yoghurt that I had it confirmed for me by Facebook.
I had failed.
I was a BAD MUM.
Just a glace across the
accusations headlines glaring at me cemented the deal.
There in black and white was a list of parenting sins in today’s news. I had committed every single one of them.
From Victoria Beckham’s daughter having her ability to eat and speak deliberately undermined by her parents insistence she suck on a pink dummy to the beastly French parents who had abandoned their toddler alone in a playground and drove mercilessly to the beach 160km away in a Francophile version of Home Alone.
I had done that too.
Each and every parenting fail a great big tick.
Sin 1: I gave my daughter a dummy.
The first headline to fell me was about Harper Beckham using a dummy.
“Experts warn David and Victoria Beckham’s little girl may end up with ‘speech or dental issues’ if she continues to use one.”
What about the rest of us millions of parents worldwide who don’t have an expert looking over their shoulders to hand out kindly advice through the daily newspapers about our children’s dental hygiene?
How are we meant to be
My confession: I too used a dummy for my children. Even worse -my kids all had a bottle – one didn’t give it up until he was the SAME AGE AS HARPER BECKHAM.
Sin 2: I gave my babies formula.
The next headline to glaringly stare me in the face:
“Formula is worse for babies than alcohol-tinged breastmilk” was yet another to add to my list of parenting sins.
The news that the Australian Breastfeeding Association had said it is “better to give breastfeed with a small amount of alcohol than to feed artificial baby milk” was causing the Mummy Wars to break out on Facebook.
My problem was that I didn’t have a side to join, as I had both fed my kids powdered poison but also been known to have a glass (or two) of wine and breastfeed my babies.