8 things you know to be true if you have a teenager.

Teens, eh? Actually, I’m going to go ~against the grain~ and put it out there and say I love being the parent of a teenager.  

Granted, I’ve only had a teen for 10 months so far, but teens are funny as heck, and I get such a kick out of watching them gain confidence and independence — that’s the whole idea of parenting, right?

Teenagers are all unique (of course), but there are a few things that any parent of a teen absolutely knows to be true… it just comes with the territory!

Image: Supplied.

1. Their minds (and their mouths) are filthy.

One of the advantages of having teen children is that you don’t have to guard your conversations as much because there’s a good chance they know as many swears as you, whether you hear it or not, and… they know what everything you’re saying means. Their jokes become a lot dirtier too — if I had a dollar for every time my sentences, no matter what they are, are followed with a smirk and “that’s what she said”, I’d probably be able to buy an iceberg lettuce. 

And Godspeed if you’re unfortunate enough to draw ticket number 69 in line at the deli. No teen will ever let that pass. 

2. Everything else seems to get dirtier too.

Not in a funny way, I’m sad to say! 

Yeah, I’m talking about the stinker lurking in your laundry — if it gets to the laundry without you having to do the rounds picking up uniforms off the floor, sports gear out of bags and socks from under the couch. I honestly always thought the laundry situation would get easier after the baby and toddler stages, but somehow teens seem to go through more clothes than a spewy baby — and even if an outfit was worn for only five minutes, it gets put in the wash!

If you’ve noticed the laundry basket smelling a bit ripe, it’s because puberty causes more sweat and more oil, which gets broken down by bacteria to produce the dreaded BO. With one teen and two pre-teens in the house, I found myself being generous with the laundry detergent in an effort to combat it. That gets expensive though and doesn’t really do much to banish the bacteria and germs.

Let me tell you, the team behind Canesten Laundry Sanitiser… these folks are out here doing the most to help parents out. This laundry sanitiser is both antibacterial and antifungal, and works to eliminate 99.9 per cent of bacteria and fungi in your wash while being gentle on fabrics and effective in cold water.

A huge deal for me because my landlord never connected the hot water to the laundry. 

Image: Supplied.

When I used it the first time, I took that load out of the machine without having that thought, ‘maybe it needs to be run through another cycle?’ because it smelled so fresh. It isn’t all about the smell either; knowing that along with removing odours, it’s preventing cross-infection and protecting the whole family is so important (and not just because I have no sick leave left).  

3. Sometimes you can’t remember when you last heard your teen’s voice.

They haven’t gone anywhere, and neither have you. It’s just that all communication is in the form of short texts, random links to TikTok videos you pretend to understand and the occasional grunt in your general direction. And that’s okay, because… same. 

4. You might have a crush on the same celebrity and it’s a bit weird.

Oddly specific, yes, but I’ve definitely spent time wondering which one of us is inappropriate for obsessing over Harry Styles and it’s definitely not me. 

(In my defence, he’s much closer to my age and it would be completely legal for him to date me, okay?) 

Image: Supplied.

5. At least three times a week you think, ‘How is that my child?’

It’s such a strange feeling when they morph into a completely unique individual, rather than being entirely influenced by you. Don’t get me wrong, it’s wonderful, but when I hear things like, “Will I be out of isolation in time for school sports day? I really don’t want to miss it!” 

I think there must have been a mixup at the hospital because I just cannot relate. 

6. But you’ll also think, “Oh woah, they are literally me” twice as often.

It’s lovely to see a little copy of yourself, and sometimes you can’t help beaming with pride. But then they come out with your own bad habits and show you just how annoying you are, and now you might need to go apologise to everyone you know. 

7. Sometimes it feels like they speak a different language.

First, it’s the mumbling. But if you can get past that, they’re using all kinds of words you don’t understand. 

True story: when my teen started high school, I thought it was unusual there was more than one child named Eshay at her school. But often I’m glad I don’t understand the words, because the mental load of trying to remember them all, and what they mean, is above my pay grade.

8. You think about getting a second job just to fund your teen.

Everyone told me babies are expensive and they were right. But teens… they’re next level. From the food they’re consuming, to school costs, clothes (and cleaning products to wash said clothes), shoes, sports and phones; it adds up quickly. 

Good thing we love them, stinky clothes and all. 

Canesten's Laundry Sanitiser is your ally in the fight against the invisible odour-causing germs that linger in your laundry. Shop it online or in-store at your nearest Woolworths, Coles or Chemist Warehouse.

Always read the label and follow the directions for use.

When used as directed, Canesten Laundry Sanitiser eliminates 99.9% of bacteria (S.aureus & E.coli) & fungi in the wash.

Feature Image: Supplied/Mamamia.