When I became pregnant with my son, I had this strong feeling that something was wrong.
I would constantly feel like we were on the brink of something really big, and I didn’t know what it was. It started early with a very difficult pregnancy. My uterus wasn’t cooperating, my liver was completely out of whack, and then add the bulging discs in my back and I was hot mess.
My child ended up coming in to the world early, and he was born without a peep. Not a single cry brought him in to the world, and he barely cried for the first 3 months of his life. Doctors worked tirelessly to sort through what was going on with him, and we hoped and prayed that everything would work out.
Fast forward three years later and we sit here with this amazing little boy that has taught us more about the human fight and drive to live than anyone else. He’s been diagnosed with Panhypopituitarism, Chiari Malformation, Macrocephaly, Enlarged Ventricles in his brain, and most recently Mitral Valve Stenosis. All of these are big diagnosis, and any one of them could put him in the hospital in a life threatening situation.
However, we still manage to get through most days unscathed, and we still have just as many giggles and hugs. I’ve learned so much about life and mothering by being with him, and I wanted to shed some light.
1. The human spirit and drive to live is ferocious
We’ve been on the edge of life and death more than once with my son. He’s been on life support, coded, and bagged back to life. We’ve seen him almost leave, and we’ve watched the drive to come back. It’s amazing to me every single time it’s happened how much the human spirit wants to live. Each and every time, he’s been stronger and braver in his fight. When new diagnosis are introduced, I have a harder time with it than him. I know partly it’s because he’s young, and I know the other part is that he knows no different. Instead of being bogged down and depressed by feeling crummy, the kid fights and smiles to play every single day. I know he’s in pain every day, loses his breath, and needs to stop to catch up but he’s always so happy to be here and alive.
Parenting is an incredibly transformative and powerful thing. The Motherish team recount their first thoughts upon seeing their new baby (post continues after video):