This is an extract from Out of the Ashes, by Stephanie and Marie Browitt. It will be published by ABC Books on March 31. It is available now for pre-order.

On December 9, 2019, Stephanie Browitt's life changed forever when the White Island volcano erupted, claiming 22 lives — including her dad, Paul, and sister, Krystal. Stephanie survived with burns to 70 per cent of her body. During the early stages of her recovery, she was kept in the dark about her sister's fate. This extract captures the moment her mother, Marie, told her daughter the truth. This story of survival is told from the perspectives of both mother and daughter.

Marie Browitt.

After New Year, when Stephanie was fully awake and conscious of her surroundings and situation, I knew that it was time to tell her about Krystal. She'd been increasingly asking about Krystal, and I couldn't plug the dam wall any longer.

I'd sworn everyone to silence about Krystal, including our family and friends, and all of the nurses and medical teams. They all respected my wishes, but I'd placed them in a difficult situation.

When friends and family visited, Stephanie inevitably mentioned Krystal or asked directly about her, which caused awkward silences, or cover-ups. Daniel refused to visit because he felt he could not lie to Stephanie's face, so he anxiously waited for me to break the news to her.

Everyone — nurses, family and friends — danced around the question if she asked, changed the subject, or discreetly left the room. But they couldn't do that forever.

Watch: Stephanie Browitt's moment of triumph after White Island tragedy. Post continues below.

The clinical staff repeatedly pushed and insisted that she needed to be told. Some staff even warned me that, 'If you don't tell her soon, Marie, we will ...'

This upset me enormously because it wasn't anyone else's place to tell her what had happened.

When the day came, I dreaded it, because telling Stephanie meant that I had to also accept that Krystal was gone, too, and I just couldn't say the words out loud.

I still can't.

Family trip to Queensland's Gold Coast. Krystal, Marie and Stephanie at Dreamworld. Image: Supplied.

With the help of the hospital psychologist and the medical team, we arranged a bedside meeting.

One of the two Mels, who'd become very close to Stephanie, was in the room with me, along with a psychologist. I took a big deep breath and began to speak, but I could barely get the words out, and choked them out instead.

At first, Stephanie was confused about what was happening, until the nurses repeated what I'd said.

Stephanie Browitt at the hospital in New Zealand after surviving the 2019 White Island eruption, recovering from her injuries. Image: Supplied.

She was all wrapped up so I couldn't hug her, or hold her hand to comfort her — or comfort me. There was a wall of bandages between us, when I just wanted to squeeze my daughter tight. I broke down in tears and Stephanie did too, and there we sat, side by side, unable to connect or comfort one another.

As I made my way home that night, broken and alone in a taxi, I felt just a tinge of relief that Stephanie now knew and that she was in the care of capable staff.

I could not have wished for more compassionate carers for my daughter.

Stephanie Browitt survived the White Island volcano eruption but suffered third degree burns to 70% of her body. Image: Supplied.

Stephanie Browitt.

I went into shock when Mum told me about Krystal. I found it almost impossible to process, because Mum had been telling me Krystal was going to be OK, and I'd believed this since I woke up.

Knowing that Krystal was OK and in another hospital had given me hope and a goal to cling to. To be told not only that it wasn't true but that it had never been true, pulled the emotional rug from under me and I really struggled to process it.

I screamed and cried, 'But how?' I needed information: 'How did she die? When did she die? Why didn't anyone tell me? How could that happen?'

Krystal (left) and Stephanie (right). Image: Supplied.

People were talking to me, and I was hearing words but not taking them in. I could see their mouths moving, trying to comfort me, but it all became much of a blur. My heart started racing. Mum was hysterical, and I couldn't hold her to console her and that made me very angry and frustrated, which just made everything worse.

It was the worst moment of my life and, at the very time, Mum and I needed one another most, we couldn't hug or hold hands. We were side by side but so far apart. It was cruel.

In the days after, as this news really sank in, my emotions shifted and changed. I felt like I'd let Krystal down; she was my baby sister, and I was supposed to protect her. I failed her.

I still have those feelings today.

I wondered how the hell we were going to cope as a family after losing her, and how we could ever pull through this. And I also had many moments thinking, 'Well, what's the point now? I can't go on,' which was the very reason Mum had waited so long to tell me.

Stephanie Browitt recovering with the support of her mother and family. Image: Supplied

Over time, the pieces of the jigsaw slowly fell into place, and it made sense to me why people had been avoiding talking about Krystal, why they'd subtly changed subjects when I mentioned her, and why my friends and some family members hadn't looked me in the eye when I spoke her name.

I felt so stupid that I hadn't worked it out myself because it was so obvious once I started to put the pieces together. How did I not see? I wasn't angry with Mum; I was angrier with myself that I didn't work it out.

Mum had been right to hold off telling me, because exactly as she'd predicted, my mood sank deep into a black hole. She told me, 'Krystal wouldn't want you to be like this, she'd want you to fight, Stephanie. You cannot go backward now. Dad and I need you; you must keep going.' But losing Krystal left such a huge hole in my heart.

I knew then how much Mum must have been suffering alone.

Listen: Explore grief in all its forms, and what healthy versus unhealthy grieving can look like. Post continues below.

Mum was right, though. Krystal would be mad at me for giving up. I made Krystal a silent promise that I would recover, for her, and I would think of her and look up to her every day. She would want me to fight, and I wanted to make her proud. I'd do it for us both.

And I made Mum promise that she wouldn't hold a funeral for Krystal without me, I needed to be there, and I'd work hard to be ready as soon as I could. Mum kept her promise, although it was some time before we were able to finally lay Krystal to rest.

My darling baby sister was so beautiful, strong and independent; she was so generous, and she was so loved by everyone who knew her. She was perfect and so, so precious.

Out of the Ashes, by Stephanie and Marie Browitt book cover. Image: Amazon.

Out of the Ashes, by Stephanie and Marie Browitt, will be published by ABC Books on March 31. It is available now for pre-order.

Feature Image: Supplied.