In only a few days, the 89th Academy Awards will air live on television.
The winners will stand in front of their peers and make impassioned speeches thanking their mum/dad/manager/God etc.
But, you see, they’re creatives.
If they weren’t given a very strict time limit, the event would go on for four months. So the Academy has specified that no speech can exceed precisely 45 seconds. And when their time is up, an orchestra plays, because that is far more polite than have a big horn sound until you SHHHHHH. Or a security guard physically forcing you off the stage.
But the practice of the not-so-subtle Oscars wrap-up music got us thinking; what other situations could do with an orchestra to shut people up in real life? Why is this not something we do all the time?
When your friend starts telling you a story you've already heard.
It's not that your friend isn't interesting, it's just that you've already heard this story three times before and no part of you will benefit from hearing it again.
WRAP IT UP, PLS.
That is four minutes of our lives we are never getting back. It's far too rude to stop her and say, "Oh, yes, sorry but I've heard this story before and it's becoming repetitive."
So instead we have to make extremely unauthentic facial expressions feigning interest but also surprise.