I can't stop thinking about Orlando Bloom's utterly ridiculous daily routine.

We need to talk about Orlando Bloom. Immediately.

The actor, who is currently based in Los Angeles with singer Katy Perry and their seven-month-old daughter Daisy, has shared his average daily routine in an interview with The Sunday Times Magazine.

And goodness, it's a doozy.

You see, while most of us spend our mornings shovelling down Vegemite toast and scrolling Instagram, Orlando Bloom is busy drinking brain octane oil and thinking about how beautiful cows are.

"I'm a Capricorn, so I crave routine," the 44-year-old told the British publication in a... poor attempt to justify his absurd Los Angeles lifestyle.

"I like to earn my breakfast so I’ll just have some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein. It’s all quite LA, really"

Orlando Bloom on lockdown Lego, Buddhism and LA breakfasts https://t.co/fSRCT6wDE8

— The Sunday Times (@thesundaytimes) March 21, 2021

The actor went on to explain that he wakes up at 6.30am every day, before getting up to check on his daughter Daisy.

"I’ll kiss [Daisy] and we’ll spend some time connecting," he shared. "I'll do eye-gazing with her and sing songs."

From there, Bloom spends 20 minutes doing Buddhist chanting, before sharing a "bit of Buddhism" on his Instagram Stories.

For pre-breakfast, the actor has "some green powders", which he mixes with brain octane oil (???), a collagen powder, and some protein.

In case you're wondering, Bloom refers to this concoction as his "pre-breakfast" as he likes to "earn" his actual breakfast. Whatever that means. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

"It's all quite LA, really," he added. (At least he's self aware, right?)

After pre-breakfast, Bloom goes for a hike to "earn" his all-important solid breakfast, which usually consists of "porridge, a little hazelnut milk, cinnamon, vanilla paste, hazelnuts, goji berries, a vegan protein powder and a cup of PG Tips tea."

The actor explained that he's "90 per cent plant-based", meaning he normally opts for some "vegetables or a stew" for lunch.

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"I sometimes look at a cow and think, 'That’s the most beautiful thing ever,'" he said.

Bloom added that he doesn't cook for himself much though as he has a "team of people" to do that. (Because of course he does.)

As for work, Bloom is currently working on projects with streaming service Amazon Prime, and reading lots of scripts.

"I spent a lot of my time dreaming about roles for myself and others — for minorities and women," he added.

Throughout the day, the 44-year-old also spends an hour at the gym. He also spends time building LEGO – a new hobby he picked up during lockdown – and watching documentaries for work.

"Time is so precious. I was always giving my time to other people before. Now I have the space to dream," he concluded.

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A post shared by Orlando Bloom (@orlandobloom)

As expected, the internet has had an absolute field day with Bloom's utterly ridiculous routine.

In fact, some readers even wondered if the interview was a spoof.

"Just finished reading it and came on Twitter to find out if anyone else was as confused as I was. Thank you for confirming it’s not just me," one person commented.

"Good morning to everyone except Orlando Bloom's brain octane oil," another said.

Katy Perry to Orlando Bloom:

“Babe are you okay? You’ve barely touched your brain octane oil” pic.twitter.com/dWy1Ywm1kd

— Hannah Tindle (@hannahtindle) March 21, 2021

Me & Orlando Bloom have the exact same morning routine pic.twitter.com/7AYtfUVgU8

— joe heenan (@joeheenan) March 21, 2021

Orlando Bloom: “I like to earn my breakfast so I’ll just have some green powders that I mix with brain octane oil, a collagen powder for my hair and nails, and some protein. It’s all quite LA really. Then I’ll go for a hike while I listen to some Nirvana or Stone Temple Pilots” pic.twitter.com/L5qLMCqCdc

— Viv Heaton (@viv_heaton) March 21, 2021

Wondering why Orlando Bloom was trending and reading this level of cringe has put me right off my brain oil and chants for the day pic.twitter.com/P4ytknUNY5

— James Billingham (@oolon) March 21, 2021

In case anyone is interested, I no longer fancy Orlando Bloom pic.twitter.com/OCMm7WTgLu

— Eve Simmons (@EveSimmns) March 21, 2021

Woke up after a lie in and saw the TL full of Orlando Bloom's morning regimen. I shambled to the kitchen and made a tea accompanied by a stick of kinder bueno. There are no right answers.

— Paddy Duffy (@PaddyDuffy) March 21, 2021

Can’t stop thinking about how Orlando Bloom’s experience of having a 7-month-old involves waking up in the morning and checking your Fitbit to make sure you’ve had your full 8 hours’ sleep, before looking in on said baby and going ‘hey, they seem happy’, then going for a hike.

— Kate hEUson (@katejhewson) March 21, 2021

pov you’re orlando bloom on a hike while listening to some nirvana or stone temple pilots pic.twitter.com/aKZMQASTA4

— emer mchugh (@emeramchugh) March 21, 2021

Good morning to everyone except Orlando Bloom's brain octane oil.
I'm having cheerios and I earnt them by merely existing. pic.twitter.com/ospCEIXdkr

— SuRie (@surieofficial) March 21, 2021

in light of Orlando Bloom’s daily routine I feel I have to release mine. I wake up, eat cake, work, eat pasta, work, tiktok, work, eat more pasta, tiktok, work, sleep. sometimes if I am feeling charitable I also talk to other humans

— Sophia Smith Galer (@sophiasgaler) March 21, 2021

Bloom got engaged to singer Katy Perry in February 2019 after three years of dating.

Bloom and Perry recently bought a six-bedroom, 12-bathroom $17.8 million mansion in Montecito, California, where they currently live with their seven-month-old daughter, Daisy.

Bloom also has a second child, 10-year-old son Flynn, with his ex-wife, Australian model Miranda Kerr.

In a new interview with The Guardian, Bloom was asked a series of rapid-fire questions, including: "How often do you have sex?"

"Not enough — we just had a baby, though," he responded.

When asked about who or what was the "greatest love of his life", Bloom listed: "My son, Flynn, and my daughter, Daisy Dove, a dog called Mighty and then, of course, my fiancee."

Feature Image: Getty.

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