Dear Channel 10,
We need to talk about The Bachelorette.
YES LADIES, I too can date multiple people on national television, because #feminism.
The season debut attracted more viewers than the first episode of The Bachelor. Blake Garvey (that love rat) was booted off Celebrity Apprentice on the same night that Sam Frost was presented with 14 eligible bachelors. Feminists everywhere ceremoniously burnt their bras, as it appeared that the fight for equality had finally been won.
Except. It. Hadn’t.
We didn’t win, and now all our bras are burnt and we feel silly. The ratings this week were slightly lower than they were when bachelor Sam Wood met his potential in-laws. So, what went wrong?
1. This season is a little…boring.
As part of a generation who lives in constant fear of not being adequately entertained, we watch TV while also scrolling through our phones, even at the best of times. But while watching Thursday night’s episode, we were also on our laptops. We had our phones, our laptops, AND the TV, and we were STILL BORED.
“Meh. Let’s find Richie on Tinder”
Perhaps the biggest issue is that the show never airs conversations about actual things. You know – Game of Thrones, funny stories, the most painful physical thing they’ve ever experienced, whether or not they believe in ghosts, the meaning of life, etc.
There is SO MUCH to talk about yet they spend their time engaged in some meta-inception cycle discussing whether or not they feel a connection when they should just be MAKING a connection. The ‘chats’ between Sam and her bachelors seem to always go the same way:
“How do you feel this conversation is going?”
“How did you feel 5 minutes ago when we were talking about how we felt about each other?”
“How do you feel about me…now? How about now? What about…NOW?”
Given that this formulaic conversation isn’t very interesting, the boys don’t end up seeming that genuinely interested in Sam. The guy who has shown the most interest in Sam so far has been Michael’s Dad, and boys, here’s a lesson for you: the interest was most definitely reciprocated.
How to fix it.
Channel 10, it’s important to air compelling conversations, ESPECIALLY when they’re with a woman who is already being packaged as a beautiful and one dimensional object, rather than a complex human being. Getting to know someone isn’t about knowing how many siblings they have, where they live and whether or not they like seafood. It’s knowing the last thing they Googled. It’s knowing what personality they attribute to their pets. It’s seeing them fart (as actually happened on The Bachelor NZ).
2. There is absolutely no diversity.
Here is a picture of the cast of The Bachelorette: