sex

'I share my sex life on OnlyFans. It saved my marriage.'

Lola Blake's marriage was on the brink of collapse.

After giving birth to her first child, she admits she was struggling to adapt to motherhood. Sleep deprivation, postnatal anxiety, lack of family support due to location, being home alone with her baby, and the financial stress of living off of one wage began to severely affect her relationship with her husband.

"There was a lot of stress and a lot of strain. I found myself alone most of the time, when my husband was at work. You become the primary parent, which is really difficult. Even though he always tried his best to help as much as he could, it was never enough. It was really difficult," Lola tells Mamamia.

"Little arguments over silly things would get blown out of proportion. We were growing apart. And even though we loved our child, and it was such a blessing to become parents, just all those stresses - we weren't spending enough time together and we weren't prioritising our relationship."

As for their sex life... well, it's hardly a surprise that it was practically non-existent.

But then something happened that changed everything.

Watch: The 5 unexpected methods of orgasm. Story continues below.


Video via Mamamia.

"It was my birthday. My husband bought me some lingerie, wanting to get me in the mood," Lola says. "And I put it on and it was the first time I'd looked at myself and I'm like, 'Oh my gosh, I am still myself and I can still be a sexual person'. Just because I am a mother now doesn't mean that's all I am.

"I felt sexy again. Our sex life started to improve a little bit and then we decided to film a few things here and there just for fun and just for us. We took a few raunchy pictures and stuff. We'd seen some other social media people doing OnlyFans, and we didn't think of it as like a money-making thing at that point in time. We just thought it was a fun thing.

"So we [went on OnlyFans]. And it started getting some attention. At first we were anonymous. We didn't really want family and friends to know about it. We kept it a secret."

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But as their fanbase grew, so did their confidence and ease.

"We were like, 'Oh, this is actually cool.' We were providing people a safe place to come and explore their own sexual fantasies and things like that," Lola explains.

That's when they decided to do away with anonymity and tell their family and friends about their involvement in OnlyFans. 

"There are some family members that don't approve," Lola admits. "But they still love us. We're still the same people. We're still going to family events and stuff - they're not going to completely shun us.

"But we just kind of take it in our stride and we accept that people have their own morals and values in life. I respect their morals and values, and I expect the same respect back for my decisions. And as long as you're not hurting anyone, and you're being safe and doing everything legally, then go for it."

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Having strangers peek into some of the most intimate moments of your life would be challenging for many, but for Lola, there was no inhibition. In fact, she felt beautiful, something that she hadn't felt in a while.

"I liked it. It made me feel beautiful. It made me feel confident. I had so many compliments," she says. "Obviously you get negative things too. But that comes with the territory. I accept that is part of it. But I enjoyed the attention. I hadn't been thinking about myself in that way for such a long time. It boosted my confidence."

Lola has now become one of Australia's top OnlyFans creators, and she and her husband have left their jobs to pursue content creation full-time. While everything is primarily under Lola's account, her husband appears in many of her videos and photos. He also does most of the social media advertising and website creation.

Now, not only are the couple happier and more in love than ever, they both get to be stay-at-home parents and give their family a lifestyle that wasn’t possible before in their 9-5 jobs.

"I'm with my husband every day now. And he's around to raise our son together. We're both equally involved. I'm not the default parent, juggling all these things at home, trying to cook, clean, look after a child," Lola says. "We're both doing it all equally together, which is, I think, quite rare."

So just how do they create content with a young child to look after, and what exactly is the content?

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"Basically, we take photos twice a week. My son's in daycare twice a week and we use those two days to film content. We do photos and videos," Lola says.

"We make sure to be intimate off-camera as well. But when we interact with people that are subscribing to us, and listen to what they're into, it makes us discover new parts of what we're into as well - so roleplay situations and stuff that we wouldn't have thought to do on our own."

Lola Blake and her husband. Image: Supplied. 

Lola has two OnlyFans pages. The first page is a $9.95 monthly subscription, with additional videos at an extra cost. Her second page is $30 for a monthly subscription and features full-length videos.

"We made $30,000 in our biggest month. That was really good," she tells Mamamia

"It changes all the time, though. With this industry, you've got to stay relevant as well on social media and stuff. It really is the more you put yourself out there, the more you will make. But yeah, we make between $15,000 to $30,000 a month."

With the money they earn from OnlyFans, Lola and her husband are no longer financially stressed. In fact, it's just the opposite.

"We take a trip once a month. We're always staying in different resorts and stuff. And we love taking our baby with us so that he's getting these wonderful new experiences," she says.

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"We've just booked a cruise. It's nice to be able to live life without any restrictions, and also share that with our son... all these beautiful life experiences that we wouldn't have been able to have otherwise."

One of the things that Lola wants other people to know, especially mums, is that they are sexual creatures - it doesn't stop just because you become a mother.

Her long-term goal is to launch her own lingerie line dedicated to mums. She wants mothers to reclaim their own sexuality and to make them feel confident in their own bodies.

"Society tells us when you become a mum, all of a sudden you're expected to be the perfect motherly figure. It's such an outdated concept and I think we're starting to grow out of that, but it is so deeply rooted in society. We all want to keep this picture-perfect family," she says.

"And I think the pressure to do that and not show flaws or that you're a sexual person... somehow people think just because you are still your own person, and you can be selfish in certain ways, means that you're less of a good mum.

"I think you can still be equally as a good mother, and be there and provide for your child, but also look after your own image and needs, whether that's sexually or in any aspect of being a mum or being yourself."

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Prior to being on OnlyFans, Lola's perception of the platform was that it was for models or social media influencers and reality stars.

"When I first started, I was trying to be something I wasn't too much. I was trying to keep that pitch perfect image," she admits. "But as time went on, I could see that people want authenticity. They want to see people being their real selves. If they wanted to see the pitch perfect people, they would go to traditional pornography because that's porn stars. Whereas OnlyFans is for real people that look like real people."

Authenticity in pornography is another issue Lola would like to raise awareness of, and one that she feels passionate about.

"Porn will be around forever. People have quite a negative connotation of what porn is, and that's because the traditional outlets where people would go to watch it have been quite discriminatory, and also abusive towards women and the way they portray women. It's all from a male perspective," she says.

"In OnlyFans, the creators themselves are the ones getting their own image across. So they're the ones in power. And also, they're the ones financially gaining from it. It's not the big conglomerates benefiting from it anymore."

Lola Blake from OnlyFans. Image: Supplied. 

Feature Image: Supplied by Lola Blake.