More freakin' amazing Olympics sportswomen you need to watch.

SPORTS IS HERE.

Just when you thought this year was a write off, with the boring election and the stupid winter and the census ruining everyone’s week, along comes the Olympics with it’s RINGS and the GLORY and yes a tiny bit of Russian doping but WHAT ABOUT THE ATHLETES.

Right now, we’re loving the shit out of every Olympic sport there is. We’re holding our hand over our heart and looking misty-eyed at those tight abs the flag. We”ll be swapping Netflix for hours of events like synchronised swimming where you ponder deep questions like how the smeg do you do a handstand without touching the bottom of the pool, and how do they not end up with atomic wedgies?

A photo posted by Dnan Sports Life (@sportslife_uae) on May 5, 2016 at 7:01am PDT

This is why I love the Olympics. Because there are people that train their WHOLE LIVES just to make it. They live on the poverty line, on macrobiotic food, and on zero social life just for their 1 minute and 40 seconds in a pool. Or on a court. Or in a sandpit. Sometimes less. IT IS AMAZING.

And here’s a few of the people who are so far nailing it.

Swimming Sisters Cate and Bronte Campbell

OH. MY. GOD these two doggy-paddlers are heaven on a stick. In London, in 2012, they became the first Australian siblings in 40 years to compete at the same Olympics. Bronte was the world champion in 100m freestyle but then, at the recent Australian swimming championships, her older sister Cate beat her by two tenths of a second. Damn, yo. Older sisters are the worst.

But then, Bronte cracked a joke about it in the paper where she was like “So yeah I’m the third fastest swimmer in the world and the second fastest swimmer in my family.”

LOL OH GOD I love you so much for that Bronte.

And just when I thought I couldn’t love them more, I found out their younger brother Hamish has cerebral palsy.  He needs 24 hour care. He can’t walk, or feed himself. And so you know what they think about every time they step up to the blocks? It’s not the race. It’s Hamish. 

So far they’ve clocked up a World record in the 4 X 100 m freestyle relay with team mates Emma McKeon and Brittany Elmslie with more medals slated to come…

Listen to me try my best to get Mia Freedman and Kate De Brito excited about the Olympics. It’s a slog.

Cool-hand Catherine Skinner

This salt-of-the-earth 26 year old Victorian was just ten years old when she first shot at tin cans in the backyard. Now she’s a gold medal trap shooter.  Her skill? Bringing down clay targets that fire through the air at almost 100km/hr. It’s requires split-second timing, accuracy, and the reflexes of a cat on speed. The best part of it? Her dad told The Australian ‘yeah nah she’s never been a natural’, and straight after her win when all the journos were asking her if she was going to go pop the champagne and party, she said ‘yeah nah, I’m going out there into the dorky cheersquad to cheer for all the other athletes here’. YOU ARE A GUN, CATHERINE SKINNER.

Our Rugby queens

Our world Sevens Rugby players just clocked up a Gold medal. And of them, Ellia Green is the one who I just can’t stop watching. She’s a powerhouse. She only took up the sport four years ago when she dropped her cousin off at training and was like “yeah I’ll have a crack at this too I reckon”. THAT’S HOW GOOD/COOL SHE IS.  Also, before every game she plays, she writes ‘mum’ on her wrist, because her mum has beaten cancer twice.

The OPALS

The Australian women’s basketball team is gunning for a medal and so far they’re two from two, beating Brazil to kick things off and then toppling Turkey 61-56. They take on France next. OOOOhh lala. So much for being a non-contact sport, this game is rough as guts and these ladies bring it in the fiercest way.

Anna Meares 

Adelaide's own (represent), this chick is made of STEEL. In 2008, she had this horrible accident on a velodrome and fractured her neck and screwed her body up so badly that anyone else would be like 'screw this I'm going to work in an office from 9-5 and eat cake'. NOT ANNA.  She recovered, and SEVEN MONTHS later went to Athens Olympics and picked up a silver, and THEN went on to win Olympic gold in London. The last time I saw her was in a thrilling race with arch-nemesis Victoria Pendelbury, in which I yelled at the TV  "GET HER ANNA! GET THAT POMMY MONGREL!" Gosh. It was epic.  This will be Anna's fourth Olympics. She's was our FLAG BEARER too. What a frickin legend. When she finishes someone get her a chair. And a piece of cake.

World Number One Caroline Buchanan

Caroline is a BMX rider, how cool is that? I mean, Nicole Kidman made it cool in BMX bandits but that was only a movie, and this is real life, so Caroline is the winner. Not-so-fun-fact, in 2003 her family home was caught up in the Canberra bushfires and one of the things the family rescued from the house was her BMX bikes,