entertainment

BEC SPARROW: As a fan, I'm very worried about the new season of Offspring.

I’m nervous.

That’s the truth of it.

I’ve just read in the news that Channel 10 has confirmed that my favourite Australiam drama OF ALL TIME (no biggie) is coming back. Offspring is returning for a sixth season in 2016. OH. MY. GOD. OFFSPRING IS COMING BACK! And like awaiting the impending birth of my own first offspring I’m nervous and excited and worried and terrified and even a little nauseous.

Because by God if they bugger this up it’s going to kill me.

offspring
OFFSPRING IS BACK.

I love this show. And I wasn’t alone. Like millions of Australians I lived and breathed the whimsical, mad, hilarious, loving Proudman clan and their heartaches and triumphs and scarves for five years. I have cheered them on, high-fived them, laughed with them and at them, downloaded their music (Eddie Perfect: you are heaven) and attempted to buy their clothes.

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What creator and head writer Debra Oswald created back in 2010 was a show that just hummed. It was complex and soulful and laugh-out-loud funny. And it was distinctly Australian in the very best way.

And then. And then like that boyfriend who you always sort of knew was cooler than you – you broke up with us in 2014. I was devastated and I don’t think I’m exaggerating when I say THE ENTIRE NATION WAS DEVESTATED but at the same time many of us felt a weird sense of closure.

Let’s just take an Offspring flashback shall we? Do you remember the time Mick wrote a song about sleeping with Nina? Yeah, that was awkward. (Post continues after video.)

Video via Channel 10

Why? Because you wrapped everything up so well. As I said on that dark, dark night in 2014 …

“Every storyline was wrapped up. Every character was sorted out. Darcy and Geraldine are back together. Mick and Billie reunited. Cherie and Clegg are on. God, even Elvis got a pash. We all know Zara is going to make a fantastic paediatrician with Jimmy by her side. Billie has finally carved her own place in the world. And Nina. I saw Nina and Zoe walking into their future with Nina’s hand firmly in Leo’s. And I bloody love Leo. Tonight those crazy Proudmans came full circle – albeit a little older, a lot wiser and with more kids in tow. And tonight I said goodbye to a group of people I have come to love very much.”

And now like that bastard gorgeous ex-boyfriend, Offspring, you have rooted your way around Europe and you’re back in town and want to hook up again.

At least that’s how it feels. And I’m just a little nervous.

offspring cast
Please don’t screw this up.

Keen but bloody nervous. And I hate that you know how desperate I am to take you back.

Of course, Asher Keddie could put on a pair of tan knee-high boots and a bohemian scarf and I’d stay home to listen to her read ‘101 Ways With Mince’. But … it’s the writing that’s key to this show more than anything else. The storylines. The dialogue. The jokes. The heart. It worries me no end that I’ve heard no word on whether that dream team of original writers are involved. Michael Lucas, Jonathan Gavin, Debra Oswald? Where for art thou?

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And if new people are taking over our beloved characters are they going to get it right? Do they understand Nina’s complex head the way Debra did? Will they nail the verbal serial killer nature of our Billie? Do they even understand ‘surprise chips’? Do they know the Nana Nina Noonan benchmark?

Time will tell.

I’m going to be optimistic and hope for the best. Great things often boomerang back into your life (but then so does herpes).

Oh God, I’m nervous.

So listen up network executives: If you’re going to bring this show back you’ve gotta throw everything at it. Don’t bugger up our favourite show and ruin it forever. No pressure. That was a joke:ALL THE PRESSURE, OBVIOUSLY.

Don’t screw this up, Ten. Seriously.

And Proudmans? Welcome back.

How do you feel about Offspring season 6 coming back?

Editorial Director Mia Freedman spoke to Debra Oswald earlier this year about Offspring, listen to the podcast here:

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