Offspring is back and I think it’s safe to say we all need a moment to exhale, gather our thoughts and maybe eat our feelings a bit after that whirlwind of emotion.
Step aside, wine. This is a job for cake.
Any questions about whether or not the Offspring ‘magic’ would still be alive and well following the show’s extended break and with a new team of writers on board were quickly put to rest.
Watch the Offspring Season 6 Trailer. (Post continues after video.):
Once those Proudman siblings found each other on screen it was time to breathe a sigh of relief. We were home.
During those first moments of the premiere episode we were treated to a run in between Nina and Leo in those well-trod hospital hallways and with just a few awkward turns of phrase we quickly learned everything we needed to know about the pair’s romantic interlude since we last saw them together.
- They were together for a time.
- They are not anymore
- They are trying to be friends
- It’s going very, very badly
The topic of this particular conversation centres around Leo’s new girlfriend, he’s doing his best to be chivalrous and protect her feelings. And although Nina tries to hide it with a smile, behind those glassy eyes we’re pretty sure she wants to scrape his beard off with a blunt fork.
However, there’s still room for her to get out of this unscathed. All she has to do is smile and nod and walk away. Just walk away.
Instead, she squeals. And hugs him. And applauds.
Oh, Nina. It’s ok, you panicked. We’ve all been there.
During the Leo craziness, Nina ignores a call from her father Darcy, assuming she can call him back later once she’s finished applauding her ex’s return to the dating pool. It’s not until she finds Cherie, sitting ashen faced behind a desk, that she realizes she’ll never be able to hear her father’s voice again.
Because he had a heart attack and he’s dead.
Um,…….sorry, are you freaking kidding me with this Offspring writers?! I’ve waited years to be back in the arms of the Proudman family, and some damaged corner of my soul is still recovering from Patrick’s death, and you just killed off a family member!
I haven’t even bopped along to the theme song yet, or taken a sip of my coffee, and now I’ve already had to face the brutal truth about my own mortality? Thanks for that.
Horrible though Darcy’s death is, it brings us to our first shining moment of the season. Billie and Nina first clapping eyes on each other at the airport after Billie arrives back from the UK for Darcy’s funeral.
Billie dropping her bags and racing towards Nina. And that hug. Goosebumps. If you’re watching it on Ten Play, like me, then you definitely paused this scene so you could soak in all of the goodness of that first Nina/Billie moment.
The good news is that Billie has been on “the internet” and has researched how to handle grief. It’s all about reconnecting with each other, she insists, meaning she spends the rest of the episode starring unblinking into her family member’s eyes, like she’s either trying to ask for help during a hostage crisis or place a hex on them. Could go either way, really.
This week on Mamamia Out Loud we had one resounding question...what happened to Offspring? (Post continues after audio.)
Watching Billie embrace a grown-up little Zoe for the first time on screen is some kind of wonderful.
It’s a beautiful call back to last season, where Billie told a broken Nina “I’ll love it. I’ll love the baby until you’re ready.” Now, we’re introduced to the Nina/Zoe combo, happy, healthy and together. A band-aid over the gaping wound of Patrick’s death. Sort of.
Billie and Nina attempt to sort out Darcy’s funeral arrangements by visiting Will, the estate lawyer Cherie discovered Darcy had visited before his death and find out that Nina has been appointed executor of his estate.
It’s awkward for a moment, while Billie continually questions why Nina has been bestowed with this honour (does Billie know what an executor does? It’s not a fun job) even though she’s not Darcy’s “biological child”. Ouch.
The sisters quickly reconnect via Billie's voodoo/hostage eyes and turn their attention to handsome young Will.
This is the guy who has been teased in the promos as a potential love interest, and so we’re watching him closer than an over frozen Coke bottle that’s about to burst.
Clearly Leo has been benched for the time being in order to make way for a new love connection for Nina and apparently this guy is the first Uber off the rank.
Billie thinks he and Nina are visiting but we’ve seen Nina fall into lust before and this is not it. Either the show has lost its touch or this young “Will” is not the love source material we’ve been led to believe he is.
Darcy’s funeral has arrived and there’s a bevy of women he met on a cruise ship sobbing like tweens at a One Direction concert out the front. The Proudman siblings are appropriately affronted, but Geraldine pretty much takes it in her stride. That could be because she’s stoned as all hell, guess we’ll never know.
Before the day of mourning is over, Martin insists on leaning across the pew at the funeral and dropping a live grenade into Nina’s world of grief. Darcy had another child, he had just found out before his death, a secret Proudman offspring whose identity has been kept under wraps. Until now.
This is not really what Nina needs to hear right now, but Martin is insistent. If not now, then when? He cryptically questions the universe.
Oh, I don’t know, Clegg. PERHAPS ANY OTHER TIME THAT IS NOT HER FATHER’S FUNERAL.
And that’s when Nina realises. Will. Will is Darcy’s son. That’s why he was visiting him.
He’s a Proudman, after all.
Let's take a breather to recap some of our favourite Offspring moments from past seasons. (Post continues after video):
During the wake, Nina does her best to keep her new ‘bro under wraps but in keeping with tradition this does not go well. Nina dashes off to deliver a baby and before she can even hoe into the umbilical cord the whole room knows that the Proudman siblings are up a member of their team.
The episode begins to draw to a close as Nina, Billie and Jimmy lie on their backs in the park, their kids asleep in a tent behind them, and let their grief, surprise and tension from the day seep out.
“I thought we were done with all the big family secrets,” says Billie, who has clearly forgotten which family she hails from. But this moment is not about the family member they’ve gained, it’s about the one they’ve lost.
Earlier in the episode, Billie and Jimmy talked about the fact that Darcy’s death had not hit them yet, this is the moment it does.
One by one, each of the siblings loos up to the stars and says goodbye to their father, putting the craziness of the day behind them to be there for each other in times of grief. Like only the Proudmans can do. It’s quiet, it’s understated and it’s that special moment of magic we’ve been waiting for.
And, as for Nina and Will, I’m going to be the first to say that that romantic ship might not have sailed just yet. After all, they’re not technically related and stranger things have happened in this little TV world.
This is Offspring, after all.
Welcome back, Proudmans. We’ve missed you.
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