Missed out? Here’s what happened last week.
The final Offspring episode is a pressure cooker of emotion. Emphasis on pressure.
You see, this might very well be THE LAST TIME we see the Proudman family together on screen.
It’s their chance to end their story, to get every character to where they need to be in order for all the loose ends to be tied up. The only thing is, everyone seems to be in such a bad place, can they possibly all get back to where they need to be?
We’re about to find out.
Clegg and Cherie are back from their honeymoon, just in time to announce they are leaving the hospital. And therefore probably the show. They are off to the “outback” to deliver babies and be in love.
Well, if you needed any more proof the show is not coming back, there it is. How can Offspring continue without the couple who the world (or at least, I) has dubbed the new “power couple?”
It cannot, I say.
Geraldine has called the entire family together for an “adults only night”, which at first sounds like it’s going to be all kinds of kinky fun, yet really just ends up being about Geraldine’s funeral arrangements.
The Harry and Nina relationship is in all sorts of danger this week, dealing with the sperm of dead boyfriends past and all that. The angst is almost a little too much to bear, but since the child-making juice of the dead is involved I’m going to cut them both a little slack.
They meet up at a bar and decide to hash out the relationship details over a few drinks. They start to fall back into their old patterns pretty fast. However, Nina quickly places an embargo on “sperm and fertility talk” which leaves these two with…. not much to talk about at all.
They finally manage to dredge up the fact they are both middle children (guys, SAME, let’s all hang out and talk about how we are unloved, yeah?) and then fall into bed for long-awaited sexy times.
Nina returns home in a cloud of euphoria the next morning only to discover what has become of all her precious family photos — the photos of Patrick that she shows to Zoe every night. They have been destroyed in a well-meaning art project and Nina is completely devastated.
Now, Nina is forced to make a decision.