“Those stupid oBikes are f**king everywhere,” my boyfriend said as we walked back from Sunday brunch.
“The O-whats?” I asked.
It was October. AKA a simpler time. AKA AKA a time before yellow bikes haunted my dreams.
He pointed to an oBike, strewn across a nature strip. One hundred metres down the road, there was another oBike. This time it was in a tree. Out the front of our house, an oBike lay limply against a fence. So sad and defeated and lost and alone – like a rejected man who had his heart trampled on, but, you know, the bike version of that.
LISTEN: The Mamamia Out Loud team discuss everything that’s wrong with oBikes. Post continues below.
… what? the? f**k?
From that point forward, my world was forever changed. These freaking yellow oBikes were suddenly… everywhere. On top of buildings. Out the front of my work. Floating down the Yarra River. On my tram. In my bed (not literally, but also basically).
EVERYWHERE.
For those who haven’t been personally victimised by a yellow bike yet, let me explain: oBikes were rolled out in Melbourne and Sydney in winter, and have a cool function where users can ‘pick them up and drop them off’ wherever they please. All people need to do is unlock their oBike by downloading the app, fork out $1.99 per 30 minutes, and cycle off into the sunset (or, if you’re in Melbourne, probably the rain. Then the sunset. Then the rain again).
Top Comments
Nobody loves them now, and Obike is currently undergoing liquidation in Singapore, with close to a million users unable to get back their "refundable" deposit
Netherlands don't love them - not Amsterdam anyhow, which is planning to ban them... as does Beijing and a few other cities. But Amsterdam is the most significant to my mind because when this European capital of pushbiking bans this sort of thing you know there must be something wrong with it.
And what *is* wrong with it is the private use of public space by these companies, and irresponsible use at that. These bikes are indeed infesting our streets, that's the accurate way of putting it. There is one left just outside my house now - I'm going to see how long it will take for anybody to come and collect it. It's been 3 days so far...