Why is this STILL a life choice that is labelled taboo?
Today, I did a radio interview that made me feel like a freak.
I knew that I was in for some tough questions on a very personal topic, but I never expected to be sitting here feeling so rattled afterwards.
Let me rewind.
I was approached to be a guest on Melbourne’s breakfast radio show Kiis 101.1 with Jane Hall and Matt Tilley as part of a series they are doing called “Taboo”.
As part of this series, they have interviewed cousins who married each other and had kids. And they’ve interviewed a racist who wants all Muslims kicked out of Australia.
My Taboo topic? The fact that I don’t want children.
For starters, that premise is shaky: Is it 1960? How can this still be considered a taboo topic in 2015?
I have never wanted children but I was only brave enough to start saying it publicly recently. I’m 41 years old, engaged to a wonderful man and neither of us want children.
It’s hard to describe but to my doubters I’d just say: “You know how you just know deep in your core that you want kids? Well I have that same conviction to not have children. I just know.”
I’ve never felt clucky. I have never fantasised about having a baby in my arms or raising a child. I had counselling to make sure I wasn’t repressing anything or making a huge mistake. I think I’ve put more thought into not having kids than many people put into having them. I love my life the way it is. I’m really happy.
I explained all of this in an article in 2011, happily stating that I’m childfree by choice.
I got a lot of heat. People wrote to me saying I’m ‘selfish’ and ‘a woman who doesn’t want kids is not a real woman.’
But I also got amazing emails from women thanking me for speaking up. For giving them a voice and in some cases giving them ideas and tools on how to bring the topic up with their partners and family members.