Hamish and Andy are full of good advice.
They’ve come up with a clever plan for how to walk your dog when you don’t have time (get another dog to walk it), how to change your bedsheets when you goddamn hate changing bedsheets (put 30 layers of sheets on and just rip one off every so often), and just yesterday, they had a segment on foods that will make your farts smell less.
I know, I know. You can listen to it here.
BUT NOW they’ve gifted us the most valuable advice yet: What to say to a partner when you’re not quite ready to say “I love you.”
We've all been in that tricky situation. You've been seeing someone for a couple of months, you really like them, and the relationship is definitely going in the right direction. But neither of you are at the point of saying "I love you" yet.
So what do you say?
According to Hamish and Andy, we need a way to tell someone that while you're not ready to say 'I love you,' you're definitely on the way.
Hamish posed the question, "Is it grammatically and factually correct, and an accurate representation of your relationship, if you were to sign off with: I will love you, or I'll love you? Because you're just letting them know one day it'll happen."
"I'll love you."
That could work.
The radio hosts discussed the phrase and decided it was like saying, "the rains are comin'," or forecasting the weather. You're just stating a fact, and that shouldn't make anyone uncomfortable, should it?
Enter Owen: the guinea pig.
At this point, Owen decides he's going to be an all 'round good bloke and try the line on Kate, a woman he's been seeing for a few months. They hang out two or three nights a week, and while they definitely like each other, they're just not at the "I love you" stage.
So Owen puts it all on the line. The plan is to call Kate with a mundane phone call, and then drop in the "I'll love you" phrase at the very end.
The call is awkward at best. She doesn't know why he's calling, and neither does he. She sounds a little bit...busy. It's not a good start. But after some awkward banter, Owen drops it: "Okay then, I'll love you."
"...What?" asks Kate.
That's...that's not a great response.
"I'm just saying I will love you," repeats Owen.
"Okay," says Kate, before hanging up.
I mean, I personally wouldn't say that went well.
Hamish and Andy then call Kate and explain the whole concept to her. They ask her if she thinks it's a good idea to sign off with "I'll love you" at this stage in a relationship. She reluctantly says, "I guess."
She explains she didn't hear the "will" the first time so was "confused."
"It's extremely sweet, it just threw me completely off," she says.
So, while "I'll love you" is logically, factually, and grammatically infallible, it's also awkward and a little bit too confronting. It sounds like it has the potential to weird a partner out, making the premise of the statement significantly less likely.
For now, maybe just think it without saying it out loud. And if you do say it out loud, SAY IT CLEARLY. No one wants to be confused as to whether their partner just said "I love you" far too soon, and seemed to mumble it nonchalantly.
I'm looking at you, Owen.