A couple banned smoking from their wedding and the internet has lots of opinions.

Every bride and groom has that one thing they definitely DON’T want on their wedding day.

A “thing” they are perfectly within reason of requesting when invitations go out. After all, it is their day.

For some, it’s specifying that children are strictly not invited, for others it’s requesting money over gifts.

For one passionate vegan bride who took the internet by storm last week, it was banning meat-eaters from attending the wedding altogether.

Mamamia staff discuss the “wedding wishing well” and how much each guest should put in. Post continues after.

And for this couple, it was kindly asking guests to refrain from smoking on the grounds of the church and reception.

A request that has one of her guests feeling “a bit miffed”.

Posting to Mumsnet, the guest – who is a cousin of the bride – asked users if she was being unreasonable to find the request “overkill”.

“I by no means chain smoke, but might have one or two outside at a party,” she explained in the post.

“My cousin is getting married soon and the invites request that people don’t smoke within the grounds of the church or the grounds of the reception venue. I’m not going to kick up a fuss, I just feel like its overkill.”

Most responses seemed to sympathise with the bride, some even suggesting that a smoke free-wedding was a “brilliant” idea.

“Great idea. It always smells horrible and I can see why you wouldn’t want that anywhere near your wedding celebrations. If people can have child-free weddings, why on earth not smoke-free ones?” one said.


“Good on her! When we got married 20 years ago, before the no smoking ban, we had all the ashtrays removed from inside the venue with strict instructions for them to be refused to anyone who asked for one, so they had to go outside. We also had a ‘no smoking’ message on the menu cards. We did not want to smell like ashtrays on our wedding day!” another added.

However others – who specified they were smokers themselves – pointed out that an entire event where smoking is banned was unfair, and wouldn’t prove to be much fun.

They said the smokers would inevitably find a way, leading them away from the venue and celebration.

“People aren’t just not going to smoke,” one said, “In fact the chances are they’ll be away from the reception for longer than if they could just smoke outside. They’ll just take their drinks and socialise away from the venue, they could even find a nice local pub with smoking outside and not bother with the reception.”

Others wondered whether the rule was imposed by the wedding venue to avoid litter, rather than the couple themselves.

But some simply found the request “controlling”, and claimed they wouldn’t attend the wedding to make a point.

“If I were still smoking, I would decline the invite for this reason – in fact, even as a non-smoker now, I’d still be tempted to decline, just because it pisses me off so much when people insist on policing other people’s behaviour in such petty ways.”

Another added: “A request on an invite is very different from a rule issued by the church/venue. Yes – smoking is foul BUT it isn’t illegal and still a human right if you’re an adult. It is also a human right not to have to put up with fag smoke as a non-smoker. This is why most places with an outside area have a designated smoking area – not sure why this isn’t the case here but I really can’t see the smokers being too happy with this request – surprised I’m saying this but a little condescending too!”

Do you think asking guests not to smoke at a wedding is controlling, or reasonable? Let us know in the comments below.

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