opinion

"Forget a male-only workspace. Nomadic Thinkers need a d*ckhead-only workspace."

Hey Nomadic Thinkers!

First up, I want you to know I’m on your side.

Male-only workspace? Great idea. 

If there’s one thing I know about business (and that’s not much, being a woman, amirite?), it’s that men simply cannot maintain creative energy when there’s too much “political correctness” flying around.

It’s like I always say – if you want to get things done in the business world, you need to make at least 12 sexist jokes a day.

That’s not discrimination against women, guys. That’s truth, and I’m on board.

Can I just make one teeny, tiny suggestion?

You’re absolutely correct when you observe that “feminism has gone past its desired point and is polarising to the extreme other end.”

But you know what the real problem is? These days, feminism has spread its nasty venom so far and wide that it’s not even restricted to women anymore.

That’s right, boys. I don’t want to alarm you, but the tragic truth of the modern world is that some men are feminists, too.

Bad news: Actor Matt McGorry proves that men can, in fact, be feminists. 

Video via Netflix

And that’s why I’m worried.

I’m worried that your proposal to block women out of your new workspace doesn’t go far enough. Sure, you’re keeping the females out, but what about their sooky, woman-loving husbands, fathers and friends?

I’m sure you’re aware of the backlash against your idea from Sydney comedy duo Bondi Hipsters. I’m sure you’re aware they, despite their disconcertingly skinny arms, are also males.

Are the alarm bells ringing yet? WILL NOTHING STOP THE FESTERING SPREAD OF FEMINISM?

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Guys: you deserve to feel free to chat about tits in the office. You just do. So perhaps it would be safer to place even stricter rules on who’s allowed in.

You’ll want a filter that prohibits women (obviously), feminists (ew), female-sympathisers (bleh), men who speak to women without trying to touch their bums (are they stupid?), and anyone who can’t grow an impressive beard (what are they, ladies?).

Besides, if there’s one (other) thing I know about business, it’s that a new slogan can really shake things up.

So why not rebrand now, and save yourselves a world of trouble later?

Nomadic Thinkers: A dickheads-only workspace.

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