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The genius of the hairdressers' "silent chair" option.

For when all talk is too small.

Hairdressers. Nice people, right? Always full of compliments, always there to save you from a bad fringe. They are probably the only people in your life willing to give you a head massage, and they really believe in your growth potential… well, for your hair, anyway.

But talking to them? Do we have to?

bad haircut advice
“Have I made enough small talk yet?”

To be filed under ‘problems all women share’, the do I/don’t I conundrum of chatting with your hairdresser is an ongoing fight between good and evil. One part of you knows that ignoring the person staring at you in the mirror is incredibly rude, but the other part of you just really wants to turn to mush under that head massage.

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Well, a hairdressing salon in Cardiff, South Wales has solved this age-old conundrum, with the introduction of a ‘quiet chair’ option. After realising some customers weren’t returning to the salon simply to avoid conversation with the stylist, Bauhaus salon decided to introduce the ‘silent chair’.

Although it sounds like something out of Principal Trunchbull’s office in Matilda, the ‘silent chair’ is far from a torture device. This, my friends, this is pure bliss.

“Some clients worry they aren’t good at chatting, some just don’t want to do it at all and would rather relax with a magazine,” said salon owner Scott Miller.

“We hope the service will give everybody exactly what they want and make for a pleasant, comfortable experience for everybody, however chatty they’re feeling that day.”

Great Scott! What a hero!

Let us also take a moment to think of the joy this will bring the hairdressers.

Imagine having to maintain equal levels of enthusiasm throughout the day for low-qual gossip regarding your client’s boyfriend/ mother-in-law/ boss. I mean, how many times can you mock outrage over a forgotten birthday or office flirtation? Ladies, let’s be honest. Our hairdresser chat is lame.

My only wish is that this kind of honesty could begin to spread across all facets of awkward small talk situations.

Like, heading to a bar for a first-time Tinder date? Drop the weather chat and just go straight for their Netflix password. Meeting with your GP for a pap-smear? Forget asking about the kids, just spread ’em and get it over and done with. Mingling at a work function? Who needs small talk when you just have an honest chat with your boss about all those unpaid Saturdays!

I say bring on the silent hairdressers chair.

Although without small talk, we’re going to need a whole bunch more Woman’s Day mags.

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