I’m calling it: nipples are BACK.
From Kim Kardashian to her mini-me Kylie Jenner, Madonna, Rihanna, and even the quaint Anne Hathaway; celebs are flaunting their nips for the sake of fashion.
Whether they are peeking through sheer fabric, slipping from long-slung necklines, or sneaking out from a flash of sideboob – the nipple is the ultimate red carpet accessory of the moment.
I mean, we’ve seen it all before.
A pert nipple was the look du jour of the late ’90s and early noughties, best served chilled with diamante sunglasses and Chingy’s Right Thurr playing in the background. Nipples enjoyed their moment in the sun (literally) thanks to braless Fiorucci camisole tops, heroin chic, netted rave singlets, and Kate Moss.
Like, remember on Sex And The City, when Samantha tried to convince Carrie to stick on some plastic nipples?
Charlotte – What are those?
Samantha – Fake nipples!
Miranda – And why are we carrying them around?
Samantha – They were sent to me as some kind of promotional thing.
Carrie – Really? Is there a nipple council? Are nipples getting a bad rep?
Samantha – Nipples are huge right now. Open any magazine. It’s not that cold! Those girls are either tweaking or they’re wearing these.
Samantha’s above declaration was over a decade ago now, ladies. But guess what: they’re back and bolder than ever.
Like Samantha said, nipples are huge right now.
I guess you could say that the 2016 nip trip really came to a head when Kim stepped out last week in ‘that’ sheer silver number.
The singlet-style mini-dress clung to her every curve… and her nipples. ‘Hello,’ they seemed to say, ‘shame we’re covered by this silver thing. What’s for dinner?’
I mean, I wasn’t shocked by the appearance of her nipples – I was impressed, if anything, that she would be so brave as to put them on display in such a defiant manner.
But you know what? Kim just doesn’t care.
As the rest of the world were like, “Um, Kim, honey, I can…see your…”, she responded with a succinct and unapologetic response on her (paywall protected) blog:
“‘I have always loved sheer—I just don’t GAF, LOL.”
As I scrolled back through her Instagram account, I could see that this was nothing new. Kim has been sneaking those nips into her outfits for months now.
Trailing close behind is younger sis Kylie Jenner.
Like Kim, Kylie totally loves to show off a nipple or two or… actually no, just the two.
Her smug pout says ‘Hate on haters. Naked is the new normal.’
Looking outside of the Kardashian Kompound, and the nipple trend shows no sign of slowing down.
Next up on the nip brigade is Madonna, Queen Of The Cone Nip.
In the last week, Madonna made headlines when her left nipple made a desperate dash for freedom. But it’s hard to imagine that she would care – I mean, remember her 2016 Met Gala getup?
The BDSM-inspired outfit featured sexy cutouts over her butt and breasts, with her nips covered by little more than artfully positioned lace and a few strands of her blond locks.
Madonna is all about the nipple, guys.
But perhaps the grandest nip-vocate is our girl Rihanna.
Rihanna’s nipple-flaunting is so prolific that I feel like I could draw them in my sleep. For those playing along at home, tap in ‘Rihanna’s nipples’ into Twitter, and let the online universe deliver.
Easy start – she has them out in her ‘Work’ video with Drake, peeking through a sheer sparkly top. Just there, happily bouncing along as Rihanna requests that we all workworkworkworkwork.
And then again here.
And again here.
Um, anyway. You get the point.
Like Kim and Madonna, Rihanna has adopted the see-through trend with zeal, and should be elected mayor of the Free The Nipple movement ASAP.
Sheer body suits with peek-a-boo booby panels aren’t the only way to wear your nipples this season, ladies, with silky camisoles also providing suitable coverage thanks to the old Cold Nipple effect.
Anne Hathaway – usually so regal – raised a few eyebrows at the 2013 Oscars when she wore a pink satin gown that had some seriously misplaced seams that cupped her breasts in a nipple so pointy, it could’ve poked your eye out.
Special mention must also go to Miley Cyrus for her continued plight to free thy nipple, even if it means hiding it under a barely-there coverings.
Wait, does that make her anti-nipple, or…?
Whatever. You fight the good fight, honey.
We look forward to the brave new world in which we’re free to give ourselves irritated nipples as they rub against netted tops and sheer dresses.
Really, we do.