Nicole Kidman: "I wish I could hide and never come out."

“I wish I could just hide in a hole and never come out.”

When Nicole Kidman’s father died suddenly last September, all eyes were on her. Paparazzi imposed on the funeral while the media watched as she grieved publicly. But until recently, she has kept her personal life to herself. As she is very much entitled to.

Kidman, 48, covers the August issue of Vogue and invited a journalist into her house, her life and her grief as she opened up about the difficult time she’s had in the last year.

Kidman says she’s feeling raw and has been through a lot recently. Talking to Vogue’s Jason Gay, the actress, wife and mother began to cry when she spoke about her father, Antony Kidman.

Nicole with her late father, Antony Kidman.

“You’ve caught me at a time when I’m still recovering and in grief,” she said.

“There are times you go, ‘Gosh, I wish I could just go and hide in a hole and never come out,’ and then you go, ‘That was yesterday.’ I have a four-year-old and a six-year-old, and just hearing their laugh… it’s life in its most powerful form.”

Click through the gallery below for photos of Nicole and her family. Post continues after gallery.

Kidman spoke about her memories with her father – how he taught her about his work as a scientist. She remembers visiting him in his lab and that time he brought mice to her school which made the school children think Nicole was crazy.

Kidman on the cover of Vogue.

Opening up about such personal things is therapeutic for Kidman, she thinks.

She spoke to Vogue about her children – 22-year-old Isabella and 20-year-old Connor Cruise, her adoptive children with actor Tom Cruise, and six-year-old Sunday Rose and four-year-old Faith, her children with husband Keith Urban.

nicole kidman in vogue
Kidman with her husband, Keith Urban. Image via Getty.

“I’ve experienced adoption. I’ve experienced birth with a genetic child. I’ve experienced surrogacy with a genetic child,” she said in the interview.

“I speak openly about it because so many of my friends are discussing it. It’s important for other women to go, ‘I get it’!”

Kidman and Urban with their children, Sunday and Faith.

As part of the interview, Kidman also partook in Vogue‘s famous 73 Questions series, where she invited a journalist onto her Australian farm and answered 73 quick questions about life, love and children.

You can watch that interview below.

Video via Vogue AU

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Let Nicole Kidman grieve in peace.