The year is 2014.
You're Googling 'what is conscious uncoupling' and planning your ice bucket challenge.
You've switched on the radio, because you're boycotting iTunes over that fkn U2 album, and 'Bang Bang' by Jessie J, Ariana Grande and Nicki Minaj is playing. For the millionth time today.
Side note: our fave celebs doing impressions of other celebs. Post continues below video.
As much as U2 tried, the biggest songs of 2014 didn't include them at all. Instead, the year was dominated by Pharrell's incredibly annoying earworm 'Happy', the introduction of Kiwi queen Lorde with 'Royals', and 'Bang Bang', a certified banger involving three of music's biggest names: Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj and Jessie J.
But uh, somehow... 2014 was seven years ago. When did that happen? How did that happen? And why is a song more than half a decade old making headlines right now?
On August 5, Jessie J discussed the origins of 'Bang Bang' for Glamour's 5 Songs, 5 Stories series. And uh, it turns out she's had it all wrong for years.
What did Jessie J say?
Jessie J told Glamour 'Bang Bang' was written by Swedish producer Max Martin, and that when she and Grande were both played it and decided to jump on the song together.
She said Minaj asked to join her and Grande on the Grammy-nominated track.
"Nicki was played it in the studio and was like, 'I've got to jump on this,'" she said. "We didn't go to her and ask; she wanted to do it.
"I'll never forget: I was in my bedroom in my flat in London, and I got sent the version with Nicki on it. I just sat at the end of my bed holding my phone, staring at the floor, going, 'How the f*** did I land this?' I literally felt like I'd won a competition."
Nicki Minaj's version of events.
Minaj remembers thing differently, and addressed it directly in a (since deleted) tweet.
"Babe @JessieJ I didn't hear the song & ask 2get on it," she wrote. "The label asked me2get on it & paid me. How would I have heard the song?"
She went on to ask if she's the "damn song monitor" who's "snoopin around for songs," noting something similar "was said by another artist" recently also. She ended positively with "LoveU."