entertainment

Mariah Carey's ex-husband has a big ol' tattoo of her on his back.

They’re together. They’re not together. Whatever.

We aren’t really sure what’s happening with Mariah Carey and husband of six years Nick Cannon. Divorce rumours abounded about five seconds after their elaborate (did we say elaborate? We meant elaborate.) 2008 wedding, and despite pledging their undying love in a vow renewal ceremony EVERY YEAR, there may be a little ‘trouble in paradise’ (to quote Nick himself).

If they do divorce, we have one major concern, and it’s not for Jackie Lambchops or Jill. E. Beans. (Who are two of Mariah’s five dogs. Duh.)

We are worried about Nick. Or more specifically, the patch of skin between his shoulderblades. If they should split up, just WHAT will he do with the massive ‘Mariah’ tattoo that he had inked permanently on his person? How do you solve a problem like ‘Mariah’?

We have come up with some suggestions.

Most conveniently, he could marry someone else called Mariah. But that may limit his wading pool, so to speak.

So maybe some slight variations. Just to throw a bone to his local tattoo artist.

Or maybe he has other loves that he’d like to share with the world.

Or not.

And if he wants to let the world know he’s back on the market, simple.

You’re welcome, Nick. And what of Mariah’s ‘Mrs Cannon’ tattoo?

Easy. Mrs Canine.

Jackie Lambchops would love it.

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