entertainment

BREAKING: Man calls younger brother 'ginger'.

Now that the News of the World trial is done and dusted, the media can finally report on what’s been going on inside the courtroom. And that includes exactly what members of the Royal Family were talking about in the voicemail messages obtained by the newspaper.

Prosecutor Andrew Edis QC read out the messages in court. And gee, those royals sure live crazy lives.

Here are some of riveting highlights from the always exciting existence of the Duke of Cambridge:

Prince William assuring Kate Middleton that he will be late:

“It has just gone six but I don’t think I will be able to leave here till about seven. I have got stuff here to do, bits and pieces, but I should be able to leave at about seven at the least. Crack on with what you have got to do and don’t worry about me. I will give you a buzz later. ”

Prince William telling Kate Middleton that he can squeeze her in between his hunts:

“You are probably very busy working but if there is any chance you are free, maybe later this afternoon or evening, I might be able to get out. I am going to try and go out beagling again and then come to you afterwards.”

Prince William calling Kate Middleton “babykins”:

‘”My head’s all right. I’ve just picked up your message. Oh, my little babykins! I hope you are all right.”

 Prince William prank calling Prince Harry, pretending to be Chelsy Davy:

“Hi, its Chelsy here. I just want to say I miss you so much, and I think you’re the most – best looking ginger I’ve ever seen.”

“Although you really are quite ugly for a ginger, I hope you’re having a lovely time, I really miss you.”

“It’s lovely out here in Africa and hopefully I’ll see you very soon, you big hairy fat ginger, anyway, speak to you later.”

Well, that definitely seems like information worth breaking the law for. Well done, News of the World.

In other news: the coffee shop down the road from our office has run out of croissants.

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