Google. I’ve never needed you as much as I’ve needed you over the last three months.
Everyone keeps telling me that I will just instinctively know how to care for my baby. Clearly, those people don’t remember what it’s like being a first time mum. But you do, Google.
You are the first ‘person’ I turn to when I think, “WTF?”.
You are there at noon or three in the morning.
You answer my questions without judgement.
Sometimes, you give me conflicting advice… but that’s okay because I don’t really trust you and usually end up asking one of my mum friend’s to confirm whether you’re right.
This has been my relationship with Google. A love/hate relationship. A relationship based on needing an immediate answer, but one I will never completely trust.
These are a few select things that I have actually Googled. You may only read them without judgement (remember, being a mum the first time is bloody scary).
1. "Is green poo normal?"
I spent an hour comparing pictures of baby poo on the internet with my daughter's when her poo suddenly changed colour. For those who are curious, green poo is very normal for a formula-fed baby. Mini freak out averted. (Not really, I spent that hour panicking.)
2. "How often should a baby poo?"
It sounds like I'm obsessed with my daughter's bowel movements. I kind of am. Anyone who has had a baby would understand that this is normal (please, tell me it's normal). It is the only way I know if everything is working normally.
3. "Newborn cries."
Babies don't talk. They cry. According to a video I watched, there are difference cries for different needs. I watched the video four times. All the cries sounded the same to me. Damn it Google, I thought you said you'd be helpful.
Here are the Top 20 questions mums ask Google. Post continues after the gallery.
4. "Will my baby's eye colour change?"
My daughter has the bluest eyes I've ever seen. I have brown eyes. My husband has brown eyes. Brown eyes are supposed to trump blue eyes. According to one mum online, one day her blue eyed baby went to sleep and then work up in the morning with brown eyes. Google says my daughter has until six months to pull this trick on me.