The new mum shopping list.

In the whirlwind of preparing for baby, it’s easy to get caught up in shopping for teeny-weeny booties and totes adorable cuddly toys.

There are so many things you’re going to need for your new arrival, but there’s another person you’ll need to keep in mind when preparing for parenthood.

You need to prepare.

None of these items are cute, fluffy or adorable, but add them to your shopping list, because you’re gonna need ‘em.

Here's what to add to your new mum shopping list:

Disposable undies.

Yes, these look like a shower cap for your nether regions, but let’s not beat around the (stretched out) bush. After you deliver a child, it’s basically a crime scene down there.

Yeah, you're gonna need some like these.

Spare your good Elle McPherson panties the indignity and grab a packet of throw away knickers to take with you to the hospital. They’re not the fashion must-have you’ll see on a Victoria’s Secret catwalk but are a practical option for those first few days after you give birth.

Nipple cream.

Now that you’re a mother, nipple cream is your new lip balm.

Grab a tube that is safe for baby and use it from the get-go as a preventative measure to ward off the pain of sore, cracked nipples. Speak to your chemist or midwife about their recommended brand to keep on hand.

Not everyone finds they need nipple cream but not having it when you want it is about a thousand times more uncomfortable than chapped lips.

Nipple pads.

In the beginning, your boobs will be leakier than the taps in that share house you lived in when you were at university.

Nothing says “new mum” like saucer sized wet patches on your chest so be prepared with nipple pads - they’re like super-absorbent Chux for your boobs.

Saucer sized breast pads.

Choose from disposable or washable nipple pads to keep the leakage at bay. Make sure you have a pack in your hospital bag because when your milk ‘comes in’, it’s gonna come out.

Shirts that would billow on Dolly Parton.

Congratulations. You finally have porn star boobs. Your cleavage is so deep that they could have put Jake Gyllenhaal down there to film a crevasse scene in that Everest movie.

Nothing in your pre-mum wardrobe is going to contain those puppies. Jump online and buy some cheap button up shirts that will make breastfeeding easier in the early days. They’re going to get stained and gross (see above point about leaky nipples) so don’t spend a fortune.

Better yet, borrow hubby's shirts.

Over-the-counter pain killers.

When I delivered my son, in the early days he would only latch on and feed if I crouched over and completely distorted myself. Then he’d suckle for half an hour while I was hunched over like Gollum from Lord of the Rings. It was agonising and within a week my neck and back were killing me.

Have painkillers at home.

Along with everything else that was going on, I was grateful to have some mild painkillers to hand to take the edge off.

Your pharmacist’s recommendation is best for medication that won’t affect baby.

Personal lube.

You’ve just given birth and your love tunnel is going to have a ‘No Entry’ sign for at least a few weeks.

When you’re ready to get back into the saddle, you’ll need some help. Sex after baby can be painful at first so do yourself a favour and splash out on some quality lubricant.

Your lady bits (and your hubby) will be very grateful.

What did you wish you had on hand after giving birth?

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