12 signs that you are truly WINNING AT LIFE.

Success is getting harder to achieve.

Houses are more expensive to buy. Jobs are harder and more competitive. Friends are getting famous on Instagram.

So we’ve had to re-evaluate the definition of success. Promotion at work? Pfft. That’s nothing. Upgraded your car? Whatever, who cares.

The real challenge is eating an avocado at it’s perfect ripeness. Now THAT is success.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

If you need to pat yourself on the back for something, here it is. Twelve modern-day definitions of success. They are still hard to obtain, but far, far more important than buying a fancy house. OKAY?

12 New Definitions of Success.

1. When you time the perfect amount of episodes on Netflix, right up until the exact moment you have to leave the house.

Because pressing pause in the middle of an episode is bad for the soul.

2. Eating an avocado at the exact right time, without having to mash up the hard unripe bits, or scrape off the brown bits.

It’s rare. It’s beautiful. It’s almost impossible to get right.

3. When you get to the train station and walk right on to the train. No waiting.

Even more surprising, if your Myki/Opal/Go-Card is topped up.

4. Actually having cash handy in a situation when you need cash.

Is cash even a thing anymore? Sigh. Where’s the ATM?

5. Paying a bill the day you get it.


Once in a blue moon, maybe.

6. Your phone battery lasting until the exact moment you walk through the door at home.

One percent never felt so good.

7. When the green man appears just as you get to the street corner.

Walk forth, friend.

8. When you spill your lunch on your shirt, and it somehow wipes right off.

Wear cheap material or patterns. Mayonnaise-shaped patterns.

9. Cooking something in the kitchen, and timing the toast exactly right.

The toast and eggs hot at the same time? Stop the clock, I’m done with life.

10. Needing a clean shirt, and actually finding one.

Washing day actually paid off. And happened…

11. When you have an early morning flight, setting out your clothes the night before, timing your Uber perfectly, to get to the airport, walk through security and straight onto your plane as the final boarding call is just being made.

Maybe once in your lifetime, if you’re lucky.

12. When your left eyeliner matches your right eyeliner.

Just kidding. That never happens.

Cheers to you. May you always find success in avocados and train rides.