'Never Teach Your Wife To Drive' is ground-breaking new TV.

What a time to be alive!

Australian television has hit an all-time high. This is even bigger than when a cyclone hit Summer Bay (has that happened? Let’s assume).

This is even better than the smash-hit of 2006, Yasmin’s Getting Married.

Last night, Channel Seven FINALLY listened to the people, by airing a ground-breaking new series, straight from the UK.

Never Teach Your Wife To Drive.

“They say ‘never teach your wife to drive'”, says the posh English-accented voiceover, pointing out that common catchphrase that I’ve heard so many times in my life, that if I had a dollar for every time I’d heard it, I’d be homeless. “But these brave men are doing exactly that.”

Women? Driving CARS? Image via Channel 5.

They are brave men. These three guys going into battle on the passenger seat deserve British Empire medals for all that bravery. What they must have seen! What they have now been through! It doesn't bear thinking about!

I mean, women? Driving CARS? What will they think of next?! Soon there will be women who are just allowed to escape the house whenever they want! Women will just be walking down the street, before they've even been taught by a professional walking man. They might even start having female race car drivers some day - it's just unnatural!

"Will two weeks of driving lessons from their other halves result in a green light from a driving instructor?" says posh lady announcer (ummmm how did she get this job? Shouldn't she be cleaning something?). Then it cuts to a shot of the driving instructor - but what's this?! It's a woman! WHO TAUGHT HER TO DRIVE?!


And how's this for an exciting twist: one of the ladies isn't JUST contending with the fact that she has a lady-brain, so is therefore incapable of shifting gears, she was in a car accident as a young woman which killed her then boyfriend. But only a woman would get upset over that! **Cuts to a shot of her husband telling her "you just have to stop screaming and concentrate".**

It's a woman! WHO TAUGHT HER TO DRIVE?! Image via Channel 5.

Such sensitive television. And I thought Channel Seven had peaked with Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud. (Luckily I stored every episode of that classic on my hard drive - I'm forever watching reruns of the kitty lols!)

Haha OMG! The woman just hit the kerb because she was talking about shopping and playing with her hair. Typical! Sometimes I talk about shopping and play with my hair so much, I don't even go to sleep! I'm just still on the couch when my boyfriend gets up in the morning, talking to my shopping bags, finishing the last of the 600 plaits in my hair! I may be exhausted, but at least I look good. SHOPPINGHAIRSHOPPINGHAIR Oops sorry, just can't help it!

Never Teach Your Wife To Drive is so good, you shouldn't stop here, Channel Seven. There's so many shows still to be produced! What about Never Let Your Woman Vote? Or maybe Slaves Say The Funniest Things? Here's a hit: Homes and Gardens: DIY Glass Ceilings!

I'll tune into all of them. After all, I can't leave the house - no man has offered to teach me how to drive!