'I just had my first neurofeedback therapy session. Here's what it was like.'

This story mentions suicidal thoughts and could be triggering for some readers. 

I sat across from my psychiatrist last week and cried. 

I was exhausted after just returning from an overseas trip. The recent Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT) that I’d undergone had successfully pulled me out of the depths of my suicidality and depression, but I still felt sh*t. 

My motivation levels were zero, I still woke every morning wondering how on earth I was going to get through the day and I was still struggling to find anything even remotely interesting, let alone enjoyable. 

So, I sat across from my psychiatrist and cried. I cried, and I begged her to put me on every and any medication she could, despite having been 'medication resistant' for years. 

I was feeling hopeless, and I needed something to shift. Yesterday. 

She responded by reiterating that it was not uncommon (in fact it was more common than uncommon) for someone with Complex-PTSD (C-PTSD) and Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) to be unresponsive to medication. 

So I responded by asking, well WTF am I supposed to do then? And that’s when she mentioned biofeedback. A few of her other clients were using it and experiencing good results, and somatic therapies (like biofeedback), we’re slowly realising, are being found to be more and more useful in treating trauma.

But first, here's a little more about Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). Post continues after video.

So what exactly is this biofeedback?

Basically, it’s a technique or a series of techniques you can learn to control bodily functions such as breath, heart rate or muscle tension. It’s been around for ages and works on some really basic operant conditioning principles. At its heart is the idea of reinforcement. 

For example, you may want to reduce how tense you feel before a public speaking event. Using a monitoring system, with biofeedback, you’d be shown a sort of visual representation of your tension and then would have moments of lesser tension, or relaxation, reinforced (with a colour or a sound or another kind of reward) to encourage those more relaxed states. 

The idea is that over time, your body then learns to do this work automatically. Neurofeedback, which is a subset of biofeedback, is what I tried as a way to manage my C-PTSD and MDD symptoms. The principles are exactly the same except with neurofeedback we’re dealing with brainwaves, as the term suggests.

What does it involve?

The process was surprisingly straightforward. A series of sensors were placed on my head and ears with a conductor gel and I was given a set of headphones so I could listen to some music. 

The sensors served as an electroencephalogram (EEG), transmitting my brainwaves into a software program that then analyzed them in real-time. Based on what my brain was feeding into the computer, the software would then make tiny adjustments to the music I was listening to in the form of short pauses.

Other software programs work on the same basis but use visuals instead of sound.

Image: Supplied.

What I liked about it:

It’s non-invasive. You literally pop on some headphones and away you go. You don’t even need to stop what you’re doing. As long as you can hear the music, you can continue working or scrolling your phone or folding your clothes! 

It’s quick! The neurofeedback component of the session is only 33 minutes (to be exact!), so with the setup and pack-up, I was done in 40-45 minutes tops. 

It felt nurturing. A lot of other treatments that I’ve tried for my C-PTSD and MDD haven’t felt pleasant (to say the least!). Their outcomes may be positive, but the treatment itself isn’t (think antidepressant side effects, local anaesthetic in the case of ECT, being actively triggered in the case of exposure therapy etc).

It felt like a manageable adjunct to my existing treatment regime. It demanded very little of me. I left feeling very calm.

There’s the option of hiring the software system so that you can do the sessions at home. 

What I didn’t like about it:

It can get quite expensive. Sessions can range from $80-$150, or from around the $300/week mark if you hire the system. Depending on where you receive your treatment, you may be eligible for a Medicare rebate with a mental health care plan. 

It takes time to see results. Psychologists, psychiatrists and neuroscientists will all tell you it’s not an instant fix. In fact, it can take 20 or more sessions to feel a significant shift in symptoms. 

You may notice smaller shifts along the way but most people who have tried neurofeedback report that it takes a decent amount of sessions for a noticeable change.

It can be tricky to get an appointment. Neurofeedback is still quite a 'niche' therapy, so practices that do offer it tend to be booked up weeks to months ahead.

So what’s the verdict?

I am still *very* early on in my neurofeedback journey, but so far, things look promising. 

I have a question mark over whether the calmness that I feel post sessions will ever translate into a more permanent life feature but for now, I’m willing to put my trust in the science behind the therapy that says that, with time, it will. 

In the meantime, I’ll happily take the temporary moments of ease and emotional regulation and continue with my other supports and treatments. 

Watch this space.

Feature Image: Supplied.