We’re in the middle of a wintry weekend deluge.
Many parts of the country are being lashed with heavy rain, strong winds, and flooding.
So everyone, take cover. Batten down the hatches. Boil the kettle, get out the cocoa and put your snuggie on because shit is going down.
Oh, unless you’re a Netballer. IN WHICH CASE, CARRY ON WITH YOUR LIFE. PUT YOUR SKIRT ON AND TRIM YOUR NAILS DOWN BECAUSE IT IS BUSINESS AS USUAL.
WHAT THE ACTUAL.
Ahead of this weekend, I perchanced upon the wet weather policy for Netball across this fine country. And, ladies, IT IS SADISTIC.
Click through for a gallery of some of our favourite sportswomen (Post continues after gallery):
Never before has a crueler tome been written about the perils of the outside sport. Because apparently, PRACTICALLY NOTHING will stop a Netball game from happening.
Netball is traditionally an outside, winter sport and as such, it is recommended that all netball activities should proceed where possible unless the conditions are considered unsafe.
Where severe weather is forecast, associations and clubs should monitor weather reports…the umpire shall decide the length of time for the stoppage and shall ensure that play is restarted as soon as possible.
THIS IS MENTAL.
As a basketballer we would play indoors. Every single time. We would sulk if our hands were a bit cold.
BUT YOU HAVE TO KEEP PLAYING IF THERE IS HEAVY RAIN? YOUR GAME ONLY GETS CANCELLED IF THERE IS FROST AND OR SNOW?
Everything else, play on PLAY ON.
Puddle on the court? Sweep it off, the policy says. PLAY ON.
Thunder and lightning? A hundred million electrical volts just 10km away and you’re in Goal Shooter? No biggie. PLAY. ON.
Lightning can strike more than 10km from the edge of a thunderstorm and it is generally agreed that 10kms is the minimum safe distance from a storm.
Last week, some nine-year-old girls were “crying” and “hysterical” over the wild weather in Perth and you know what they said?
PLAY. ON. PLAY. ON. PLAY. ON.
TOUGHEN UP, NINE YEAR OLDS. WE CAN’T SEE YOUR TEARS THROUGH THE RAIN AND WE CAN’T HEAR YOUR SCREAMS OVER THE THUNDER.
Do you even bother cutting up oranges at halftime anymore, Netballers? Or do you just rip into them with your teeth, skin and all because that is how tough you are?
So get out there this weekend, ladies. You magnificent things. Play with a fire in your belly, at least that will keep you a little bit warm. And everyone else, light a candle for any Netballers getting their skort on and checking their nails. Because this weekend, Netball will be an extreme sport.
Listen to Holly Wainwright and Andrew Daddo disagreeing about whether kids should have to play sport in horrible weather, here: