By Jason Om, Lateline

The Royal Australian Navy wrongly provided a military funeral to a seaman who murdered his former girlfriend, an official briefing note obtained by Lateline under freedom of information has revealed.

In April 2013, Elliott Coulson strangled Kate Malonyay in her Sydney apartment after she had ended their relationship over his aggressive and controlling behaviour.

Coulson then fled to the Gold Coast and took his own life by falling from a hotel balcony while being pursued by police.

Documents obtained under FOI by Lateline reveal Coulson was in fact not entitled to receive a military funeral because he was absent without leave (AWOL) — a Defence Force offence.

The 32-year-old had left his post at HMAS Darwin at Garden Island in Sydney after killing Ms Malonyay and was reported as AWOL.

According to a yet-to-be-released Senate Estimates brief prepared for the Chief of Navy, Coulson’s family was “incorrectly” told of the entitlement by Defence social workers.

“Funeral support does not extend to members who are AWOL,” it said.

“The (Defence Community Organisation) Bereavement Support Team during a meeting with (Seaman) Coulson’s family on 25 April 2013 incorrectly informed the family of an entitlement to a Service funeral if requested. The family requested such a funeral.”

Despite this apparent oversight and Ms Malonyay’s murder, the Navy went ahead with the service.

“He was a murderer, [absent] without leave,” Ms Malonyay’s mother Wendy told Lateline.

“He murdered my daughter. Isn’t that enough to say he shouldn’t receive a full military funeral?”

Coulson’s funeral cost taxpayers $13,146.

The Navy also allowed more than double the minimum number of personnel to participate in the service, after the Coulson family asked the Bereavement Support Team and the Commanding Officer of HMAS Darwin for “as much Navy input as possible”.

Initially the Coulson family was allowed a minimum uniformed presence of three to four people, but following their specific request 10 members were provided, including eight coffin bearers, one Officer In Charge and one official mourner.

Coulson’s funeral was held on the same day as Kate Malonyay’s burial, “regrettably … which was not known to Navy at the time.”

The Navy briefing note also revealed the total cost of Coulson’s funeral to taxpayers was $13,146.

One of Kate Malonyay’s close friends told Lateline the money should be paid back or donated to a domestic violence charity.

“It’s a stab in the heart for Kate’s family and friends,” Sally Stevens said.

It has been two and a half years since Ms Malonyay’s murder and the Navy has only recently acknowledged the distress caused to her family and friends.

In November last year, Chief of Navy Vice Admiral Tim Barrett quietly posted a written apology on a Navy website in response to a public outcry, and in December he paid a personal visit to Wendy Malonyay’s home on the New South Wales Central Coast.

The Chief of Navy at the time of Ms Malonyay’s death, Vice Admiral Ray Griggs, now Vice Chief of the Defence Force, has also written to Wendy Malonyay.

In a letter obtained by Lateline, he wrote “I can assure you the intent was to support the Coulson family and not to honour the actions of the individual; actions that were abhorrent.”

“I appreciate the distress this has caused and that while Navy responded publicly at the time in 2013, I accept that it has taken too long to respond to you personally.”

Vice Admiral Griggs said Ms Malonyay’s murder had “bolstered my personal resolve to take Navy on the White Ribbon accreditation journey leading to accreditation in June 2014”.

The Navy is now Australia’s largest organisation accredited by the White Ribbon domestic violence campaign.

Vice Admiral Barrett and the Coulson family declined to comment, however the Defence Department said “[funeral] support was offered before it was known that the member was AWOL. As the [Coulson] family already had been offered support the decision was made to maintain that commitment.”

The Navy has amended its policy to ensure personnel who are absent without leave do not receive military funerals.

Last week, Wendy Malonyay went to Garden Island to meet Vice Admiral Barrett and members of the Navy, telling them how the Navy’s actions had worsened her grief.

“They’ve realised they’ve made a huge mistake. They’ve got to change. It shouldn’t have happened and it should never happen again.” she said.

Watch the full report on Lateline tonight at 9:30pm (AEDT) on ABC News 24 or 10:30pm on ABC TV.

Timeline: How the Navy dealt with a murder

This post originally appeared on ABC News .

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