After much hand-wringing and schedule shifting, my wife finally landed herself a girlfriend and holy crap.
My wife was one of very few entities in this world that I had a physical reaction to when I first met her. Her girlfriend is no different. Her physical beauty aside, (with which she is extremely rich) this woman has a luminous soul and is so awkward it sets my heart breaking.
So, when my wife came home from her date and said to me, “So, I think I might have a girlfriend”, for me it was like watching the moon landing. My wife came to ME about this entire poly thing. She executed a series of motions and movements designed to bring about the desired end; the expansion of our love to include others.
I was discussing this with a friend of mine, never getting into any real details, as my wife didn’t give me many details. Her girlfriend is still in the beginning stages of finding her sexuality and to be honest, I didn’t want my wife to violate her privacy by telling me explicit details. If it’s not our information to tell, we won’t tell it, even to each other, unless it’s something we both SHOULD know.
He said something that really made me think. He said something to the effect of, “Well, if she were dating a guy, you wouldn’t feel as cool with it as you do.” Now, on the surface, this seems like a reasonable statement. But, if you analyse it just a bit deeper (as I often do) you see something a bit different.
The implication is that I would somehow feel like my station in life would be threatened if she were trying to date men instead of women. Well, rumour control, here are the facts.
My wife is bisexual but prefers women. To that extent, she’s had a select few male lovers, but none of them ever really panned out. We have a little joke between the two of us that, she is a full-on lesbian and I just happen to be her bi-curious. The reasons that they all didn’t pan out were simple, she just isn’t into many men.
Most of the men around the area we live are very conservative and for the most part, rude. (Say what you want about the conservative vs. liberal argument all you like, there’s simply a mismatch of values that ensures that we don’t get along.) The men that aren’t are usually married, taken or otherwise too close to the family to consider.
For example, my wife has a 10 year crush on a friend of mine that I consider a brother. Once in a while when he is mentioned she’ll say something like, “can we get Shaun to murder my vagina?” But, Shaun is married and we would NEVER disrespect their relationship by even suggesting it. We keep it friendly, we keep our hugs loving but chaste and we keep our flirting to a minimum, though flirting is a natural extension of who we are.