That was pretty much the sentiment expressed by my husband when I tried them on to show him yesterday. He didn't actually say those words. He couldn't BECAUSE HE WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD. What he did manage to splutter in between gasping hoots was this: "They…make it look….like you have a….double-decker forehead*"
The thing about sunnies is that they are extremely difficult to buy. When you are looking at yourself in the shop mirror, everything is rather dark, isn't it? And that's how tragic mistakes can be made.
Some more background: the glasses in question are by Tom Ford. I am not usually a fashion victim in this way but it had been a long week and I was a bit giddy to be in a shop without….
…..a Small Person nagging me for food. This goes some way to explain why I spent the equivalent of a small car on some sunnies that possibly make me look like I am wearing two side-plates on my face……
Leaving Jason convulsed on the floor with laughter, I went in search of back-up.
"Luca, what do you think?"
"Nah, you look like Harry Potter gone wrong." I don't even know what that means but coming from an 11 year old, I understand it's not a ringy-ding-ding endorsement.
"Coco? Do you like Mummy's new glasses?"
She looked at me quizzically and I could actually see her weighing it up.
"Not really Mummy." And then – in classic female form – she decided she needed to soften the blow. "Well, maybe, hmmm, you know, well sort of." She thought I looked like a nutbag but she wanted to be supportive. Bless her.
Remy's only contribution to the sunnies vote was to try and eat them. I'll consider that an informal vote.
Just when I'd decided that yes, they were ridiculous and should be returned, a couple of girlfriends told me that only women understand Big Glasses and that I shouldn't be swayed by what my son and husband think.
So now I'm totally confused. Which is where you come in. Keep or return?
*to those members of the Mia-You-Should-Really-A-Fringe commenters club who – at every oppportunity – urge me to get a fringe because it will obscure part of my giant forehead yes I know you are currently nodding your heads vigorously and are all, 'if only she'd listened to us, those over-sized forehead days could be behind her…'
EARLIER ON MAMAMIA….