Australia, we are swimming in un-ironed clothes.
We’re really not stuffing any mushrooms for sit-down dinner parties.
Our email inboxes are more cluttered than they ‘should’ be, and our gym contracts aren’t getting that much of a work out.
And yet, here we are, with our stubbly legs and unmade beds, soldiering on, us imperfect people.
That’s what I learned this week from sharing my ‘I Don’t’ list here on Mamamia. Several days ago, I wrote that rather than curating endless productivity tips, busy women (and by that, I mean just women) should be telling each other about what they don’t do so we can, once and for all, kick the damaging myth of the Superwoman into touch. And I’ve been marinating in all our glorious undone jobs ever since.
Mamamia Out Loud host Holly Wainwright discusses why parental equality isn’t just a woman’s issue. Post continues after video.
It’s been like being at the centre of a long exhale. Like all of us had been thinking, ‘I’m the only one who doesn’t have a silk pillow case washed daily in baby shampoo and dried in gentle morning sunlight.’
As if we’d all been literally scrolling through Instagram confused about how it was that all these other women have an extra two hours in the day to greet the sun with yoga and gratitude while so many of us are welcoming it with a squawking baby, a puddle of cat vomit or a pounding head.
There’s been a gasp of collective release as everyone simultaneously realised that they weren’t the only ones who find playing Lego with small, angry people about as much fun as a Trump Tweet.
And everyone’s been sharing their ‘I don’t’ lists with me. With each other. With the world.
So, I’ve taken the liberty of stealing your content to pass it off as my own (#efficient). And I present, without comment, the most UNDONE of our I Don’t lists:
- Have a tidy house.
This leads me to believe that there’s one corner of every woman’s house that she keeps spotless. Just for Instagram.
- Change the sheets every week.
Nope. We’re all quite happy to sleep in our own skin-bits if it means we avoid having to wrestle a doona back inside its cover for a few more days.
This is really number one, but I blew it in my opening. The only people in Australia who are ironing, it seems, are those linen-wearing Murfers of Byron Bay. Everyone else is leaving things on the line and hoping no-one gets too close.
- Exercise everyday.
We want to. We really, really want to. But we set the alarm for 5.30 and then it happens and we realise: Sorry, we want not to more.
- Answer our phones.
The number of women who wrote on their list ‘Please just text me’ makes us wonder: Who’s bloody calling us all the time? Monsters.
- Do our taxes on time.
This came up so often it’s obviously a seasonal thing. As in, the season comes around every year and we go, ‘Oh. Must put my tax in.’ And then we forget about it until next year.
- Spend time on people we don’t like.
The women of Australia are going through a major cull of time-wasters and energy-suckers. And it’s glorious.
- Do the home readers.
So. We all know how important it is to teach our kids literacy. But we also know how easy it is to lose the will to live when you’ve read The Good Puppy 45345 times. At snail’s pace.
No wonder Uber Eats is booming. Apparently no-one’s had anyone around for a home-cooked meal since 1998.
- Give a damn what other people think of our lists.
If this is true, our work here is done.
(Honourable mentions go to: Wash my bras; do kids’ arts and craft; cook (like, ever); have a skincare ‘regimen’; Stay calm; do overtime; get my nails done; remember all the birthdays; wear uncomfortable shoes…). Look, we could be here all day.
What’s on your I Don’t list? Let us know in the comments.